Adventure Day

We woke up with nothing much to do so we decided to clean up breakfast and just go for a drive.  Little did I know when we piled into the van that we wouldn't be back until supper time, and came close to not coming back that night at all.  I figured we'd  be gone a couple hours at the most packed accordingly (nothing).

We decided to start driving south and just see some sights.   We had heard about the "Old Mill" restaurant out in the middle of nowhere south of San Quintin so that was our first stop.  After miles and miles of jaw rattling wash board Nathanael let some air out of the tires which made a huge difference.   As you can see, he has his number one fan helping him.

The Baja is funny because you can be travelling for miles in what seems like utter wilderness and then off the beaten path somewhere is some magnificent structure or fancy restaurant.  There are so many little treasures to discover.

Enjoying the sights at Bahia San Quintin.  The boys wearing their new "1000 miles" shirts.

Someone catching his lunch with some string and a beer bottle.  

....and look a special kind of rat.  How sweet. 

After our visit to the "Old Mill" we decided to keep driving south.   

This week was the Baja 1000 race which happened to be running the whole way down the Baja (down to La Paz)...most of it runs down the other side of the peninsula.  The guys went up to Ensenada to see the vehicles entering the race and be a part of the kick off but we would have had to travel quite a bit further to make it over to see the races.   We probably didn't pick the best day to drive down the main Baja highway though since all the support vehicles were racing their way down the highway on the west side of the Baja to meet up with their drivers bombing down the trails and dirt roads on the east side.   The only highway down the peninsula was really busy. The funny thing was when we drove through little towns kids would come running out onto the highway holding cardboard signs "Stickers".   The racers and support vehicles would pass out big fancy sponsor stickers (Roman has a bag full of them from his day in Ensenada).  The kids thought our big van driven by gringos was part of the Baja 1000 and I kind of wished I had some pretty little "hello kitty"  or princess stickers to toss out just to mess with them. I'm sick like that.  Those kids were pretty gutsy to stand out in the middle of the main highway flagging down vehicles. 

Ever since the Baja race of '09 when Roman hung out with Eric Kudla's race team he's been itching to meet his hero again.   Ensenada was crazy and crowded and they didn't see his race team there...but as luck would have it they passed us on the highway as we were out sight seeing. 

We stopped for lunch at El Rosario at the famous Mama Espenosa's restaurant.  We arrived there along with a bunch of race teams, which is likely why it took a long time to get our food.   The food was totally worth the wait though.  The best Nopale (cactus) omelete I've ever had.  It seems that this race is good for the economy down here...with all the gasolina and tacos purchased alone.

While we were eating our lunch the idea was jokingly presented that we keep driving down to Bahia de los Angeles the town that the race and the main highway meet up again and watch the race.  We had spent a couple days down there in 2010 so it didn't seem like a bad idea...especially if we could find a room at Los Vientos motel again.    It seemed kind of crazy to leave for a little morning outing with no supplies or extra clothes along, and then keep driving in hopes we'd find a hotel somewhere.   After a few minutes of contemplating I decided it could be fun, or at least interesting, to just keep driving south..but in end concern that Bahia would be packed full with no vacancy or they'd charge us a crazy inflated price if we did find a place to stay for the night, won out over our spontaneous sense of adventure.  That and a grumpy, over tired, partially potty trained two year old kind of dampened our sense of adventure.   We decided to head back north and go check out the seal caves instead.

This took us quite far off the beaten path.  

The sandy drop to your death roads were nerve wracking.

Although not as terrifying as the actual seal caves.  We had been hear before back in 2010 but time had erased the memory of how ridiculously dangerous the place is.  I was a neurotic hyper vigilant nut case the whole time.  It's crazy...nothing is roped off or fenced or marked....just sand and then cliffs and giant holes.  It super fun place to take children. I don't have "watch my children plummet to their deaths" on my bucket list and I wasn't about to add it to my life experience.   I have very little faith in my children's observation and general awareness skills...they are skippy, spazzy, and often oblivious to their surroundings.  When you combine those traits with cliffs...it was enough to make me stroke.  Thankfully they were good at staying next to us, despite my visions of them skipping off to their watery graves.

We did see a lot of seals though.

The look out point did not give me any confidence.

I nice fellow from Tijuana took our picture for us. 

It's not very often we all make it into a picture.  

Our "new" van has been a perfect Baja vehicle!

...and there's plenty of room in the back for a pit stop.  

Manic Tuesday

I'm sitting at an Coffee shop with my friend Amber this evening.   We're sitting with our computers in front of us, sipping Chai Tea, chatting about our kids, and complaining about the slow internet.  

  Our days here go by quickly but we aren't living a hectic pace.  I'm finding that a break from our "normal" life is refreshing, a different pace, different scenery, and a comforting rhythm of a simplified life.   

 Nathanael is finding little projects to do and helping out some friends with odd jobs....the kids and I are just hanging out.   We're just enjoying being here.  We go for walks, hang laundry, wash dishes, visit with friends, make tacos, eat chili candies, and read books.  I love to sit in the sunshine and read...it's something I just don't do at home.  Even when we have heat and sunshine in Saskatchewan we also have horrid mosquito that drive us back indoors.  

Nathanael and I were  talking today about how many things have changed over the years.  One thing that has changed is that we're really not interested in working for the sake of looking busy, gloating about accomplishments, impressing others in ministry, or doing useless tasks.  I don't know how many people I've seen on "mission trips" literally moving stacks of rocks from one pile to another or digging holes only to fill them up again the next year.  Work for the sake of work.  "Go to Mexico, work hard, don't ask questions, and leave feeling like you accomplished something"....even if the building you built never gets used and wasn't needed in the first place. 

We're here to experience life, to enjoy relationships, to encourage friends, to work when there is work to do, and to relax when there isn't...and not feel like we have to prove ourselves to anybody.  It's very freeing.  Maybe next time we'll come with a specific project funded and planned then work our tails off to get it done...but not this time.  We didn't even know we were coming until the week before we left.   This trip is more like a vacation with some adventure, work, and character building purpose mixed in.  We have ideas and visions for possible future endeavors and projects here...but it's all in the Lord's timing.  We don't know from what year (or rather day) to the next what the future holds for us in Mexico.  Only a couple years ago we were convinced we'd be living here full time by now.  God had totally different plans for us.  Better plans.

Today my two youngest kids and I walked down to the orphanage down the street (the one we used to work for).  It has the closest play ground and we enjoy seeing some familiar faces.   We happened to be at the little play ground at the same time that the kids from the "Day home for kids with disabilities" were out on recess playing there too.  How they've all grown since I used to spend time with them!  So many new kids.  I loved watching them...and my heart squeezed a bit missing being a part of that particular ministry.  

While we played at the play ground, Roman was helping Nathanael do some cement work for another nearby mininstry and  Aili was "helping" my friend Amber.  As we were trudging our dusty selves back home to make lunch, my hero Hubster pulled up next to us in the van and said we were going for fish tacos at our favorite little fish taco stand.  They were GOOD!  A beautiful sunny day and fish tacos in Mexico....what could be better?

Then, because it's Tuesday market day, we headed to "Globos" the weekly outdoor market that sets up through several blocks of the town.  We browsed the stands, took in the familiar sights of this completely different world, and bought 4 bags full of fresh cheap produce. 

Tomorrow, the guys (mine and a few others)  are driving up to Ensenada early tomorrow morning for the beginning for the Baja 1000 races.   I suggested that we pick up Alvaro tonight and he could spend the night and spend the day with them in Ensenada.   It seemed like we had it all figured out, even though it was totally last minute. I imagined a day filled with fun and memories (and even bragging rights) for our boy.  I had a bed made for him, and clean new clothes pulled out for him to wear on this outing.  I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when it didn't work out quite like I'd planned ...when "tio" went to pick him up after dark he wasn't home.    

Just his 9 yr old sister and his mom's come-and-go dead beat boyfriend were home.   "Tio" was not very impressed to see him back around and to witness the alcohol fueled sheepishness played out before him.  By "not too impressed"  I mean fuming -ready to put together a posse- and have a little "man up or move out" chat. 

I'm disappointed on a lot of levels right now.  Frustrated but not surprised.  I'm trying not to think too much about it all, or assume too much. 

  I can make plans like taking an "at risk" adolescent boy (who doesn't have a Dad, who has born the weight of responsibility for his family for a long time, and who so desperately needs some positive role model time) to the coolest "guy time" thing around...the Baja 1000..  And instead I'm reminded that I can't "fix" any of this.  The bubble was burst. 

So much about loving people here is totally manic.  Exhilarating one day...and then crushingly defeating the next.

I can't make better decisions for them.   I can't make the kids understand that they need to stay in school. I can't convince parents to actually parent.   I can't erase a sub culture that sees little value in an education, or doesn't have the luxury of looking past the needs of each day.  I can't keep little girls safe from drunk men who sleep over.  I can't tell these little boys that the examples of men they are seeing aren't really men at all.   I can't make men provide for their children, or honor their women as more than just a booty call with no responsibility attached.  I can't give sacrificially without it eventually being exploited and taken advantage of.  I can't tell the women that they should expect better.  I can't ensure these kids I love won't be hungry, or scared, or hurt.   I can't mend broken families, bruised bodies,  wrecked hearts, and wounded souls...  

.....but Oh how I wish I could.

 I can't change these things for them, and it almost seems just plain hopeless.  I can't go load up 7 kids and escape to a nicer reality never to return to the despair    I can't scrub them down and pick the lice out of their hair, and tuck them into bed with warm clean pajamas and good night kisses with promises of better days in their dreams.  

As I am reminded again  how sin twisted,  and pain riddled this messy world is I am also reminded that this is not mine to fix.  I am not it's savior.  I am put right back in my place.  That doesn't mean that I don't enter in and powerfully contend with these strongholds. We've been told to love in the midst of it.   What that looks like exactly, I'm not really sure.    I seem to have more doubts and questions than answers at the moment.   What these tiny humble little seeds will grow into, what the ripple effects will be,  is completely out of our hands.... but entirely in the hands of our good and mighty God who entered into the filth of humanity to contend with our own self destruction. 

  I can rest in that...and continue on being faithful in the little...while he worries about the big.  After all he knows the end from the beginning...I don't even know what I'll make for supper. 

{walking down town to get some groceries}

{The big fancy new grocery store in town.  It even has a paved parking lot!}

{stopping at a park for some juice during our long walk home from the Calimax}

{almost home}

Once again, this has been a long rambling post.  Thanks for stopping in....and congratulations on making it to the end.  

My heart is happy

Finally, after missing these kids, worrying about them, praying for them, and hoping we'd see them again this year I'm filled to the brim with warm fuzzies.   My heart is so full that it might explode, and this could get messy.  

We told them a few days ahead of time that we'd pick them up on Sunday and when "Tio" arrived they were all scrubbed, washed, and dressed in their finest clothes ready for the big event.   It's funny how just coming over for a play day is such an event.  Even their mom was bustling around making helping them get ready.   They were all so excited to come!

We had a perfect day.

For some reason we had made it into a bigger deal in our minds than we should have.   We wondered if we should bring them into our house or just take them out somewhere.   Both would be fun but our motive wasn't so much "fun" as it was based on fears and doubts about dirt, parasites, and illness.  We contemplated our water supply (town water only runs for an hour or so every few days), we contemplated fleas, lice, dirty hands, laundry, and all the unknown micro-visitors that would hitch along.  I let it paralyze me a bit and I let it tempt me to put up walls of self protection and keep these beautiful little "messy" lives at arms length.   

At arms length where we could give them stuff,  take them some icecream, pass them a blanket and wish them God's blessings.   None of those things are all bad...in fact they have their place and we do those things too...but God is calling us to more.

He's asking me to love them.  

For us loving them means travelling across borders and cultures and entering into their "mess".   It's asking me to get my hands and floors dirty.  It means inviting them into be a part of our lives...to be a part of our family.  As I was contemplating how I could successfully love them from a safe distance I was brought to me knees again with the reality of God's love for me in my own wretchedness.  He left the comforts of home, he pursued intentional relationship, he crossed borders and cultures, he entered into our mess, he took up our burdens on his own shoulders, he bore our pain in his own body, he touched our disease at the cost of his own life.  How can I receive all that and yet love someone else at a self preserving arms length?  

So after some repentance and allowing the gospel to right my thinking....

we opened ourselves to an amazing day filled with little blessings. 

We had so much fun with them.   I really couldn't get enough hugs and snuggles from these kids.  I love them so much it hurts already to think we'll say goodbye again in a couple weeks. 

It was fun to just give them a chance to be kids, let them play and forget the weight of responsibility they carry.  Let them relax and not have to worry where their next meal will come from. 

We ate lunch out on the patio, then spent a few hours just playing, and then we broke out our travel DVD (dual screen) players and watched Despicable Me.  I've never seen kids giggle and laugh so hard at a movie.  Carmela could hardly catch her breath she was laughing so hard.   

{This picture is totally random but these two are such loveys.  It's been cold here at night and in the morning they snuggle up under blankets while waiting for their oatmeal to cook.  It's so much warmer here than in Canada in November but at home our house stays a nice 20 degrees Celcius.  Our house here fluctuates between about room temperature down to 10 degrees C at night}

This marble run thing was a big hit.  

Tio taking the kids pictures and using an App to give them mustaches.  It got some good giggles. 

Baby Carla stayed home with mom but next in line Gabriella was now old enough for a play day at Tio and Tia's.  She konked out part way through though.   She's curled up on the couch with some of the blankets we sent home with them.  Thank you to the quilting ladies at my mom's church for sending them with us.  

Alvaro is looking so grown up this year.   He has a little mustache started and his voice cracks.  Everytime we come I wonder if this will be the year he'll be getting into trouble, or too cool to come and hang out, or out running in the gangs (which is the pattern).  I was encouraged to find out he's still in school (6th grade...not bad for starting school three years ago!), and he is still such a nice boy.  

It's amazing how a bucket of Little People and some modelling clay can keep everyone happy for hours.  Alvaro was really into building with the marble thing....so focused.  I told him he'd better stay in school so he can be an engineer some day.  

The little mama Carmela still isn't in school :(  I think she had been for a while but she's back to being the childcare at home while big sister and Mama work int he fields.   She is such a bright (and crazy responsible) little girl...it breaks my heart that she isn't able to have an education.  Maybe someday.  I'll be praying that eventually she'll be relieved of her babysitting duties long enough to learn to read.  

Gabrialla was so surprisingly easy and comfortable at our house.  Last year she was terrified of the strange big white people that kept showing up at her house but this year she was excited to come along.  

We finished our perfect day with Tacos Carne Asada.   Super yummy.  We filled everyone up (those kids can EAT!), bought soda, and sent three tacos home for  their mom...for about $26.   It was fun being one big family for a day.  Sigh.  My affections for them have been re-ignited for sure.  I can't wait to have them over again.  

Soli Deo Gloria,