Pumping Iron

I feel like a new woman.  Seriously.  No, I haven't been hitting the gym to pump iron.  Laundry baskets carried up stairs multiple times a day still serve as my only source fitness.  Although as my energy level increases I may once again be ambitious enough to seek out intentional physical exertion.

As it turns out I was totally iron deficient!  I discovered this quite by accident. Out of desperation I bought iron suppliments.  It only took a few days to feel like my batteries that were chronically drained were being charged once again. 

Once I unexpectedly noticed such an extreme change in my energy level and a lifting of my totally overwhelmed, slightly depressed mood...I thought maybe I should look up iron defiiency anemia.  It described me!...right down to the light headed fainting feeling, creepy crawly restless legs, and total utter exhaustion..although I can't say I've ever been tempted to eat dirt.  I don't know how long I've been putting up with it...but for the last year I really have not felt well.   When combined with my relatively new issue of stomach acid gone wild I felt like I might be dying a slow death.  The more exhausted I was the more coffee I consumed...the more my stomach rebelled and attempted to eat me from the inside out.   I figured this must be what getting old feels like, at 34.  I assumed that this is what having 4 kids and homeschooling feels like.  This was as good as it got for me.   I just didn't understand why I felt so tired (all my kids sleep through the night!).   I'm kicking myself for not taking care of it sooner...I had grown so used to feeling miserable and tired that I stopped being concerned about it.  From what I'm reading I should probably still go see a doctor and get some blood work and testing done.  

I'm very glad to report that I don't need to retire to a rocking chair just yet!!  

I had suspected that iron depletion might be a cause but totally underestimated how much iron I would need to reverse the depletion.  I thought that eating my decent healthy diet and garden greens would be enough... I guess it wasn't.  I am also trying to be intentional about getting more quality natural iron sources into my diet.  Red blood cells here I come!

I am finally feeling on top of things again...parenting, schooling, house work.  I feel like I just might be able to pull it off!     All the deep cleaning/ spring cleaning...organizing and projects that have loomed over my head as impossible tasks for the last couple years are getting checked off my to-do list.  Even though I have a nasty head cold this week, and am a little run down and sleep deprived....I still have more ambition and energy than I did a month ago.  Crazy.   Even sick with a cold, I'm gutting closets, sorting storage areas,  rearranging bedrooms, and vacuuming underneath couches and beds.  Now I just feel normal tired.  

I know you are all just thrilled with me aren't you?  Because everyone in the great wide webdom of blogsphere cares about the oxygen levels of my blood right?

I thought not....but

sometimes it's the little things

that make a big difference. 

I have too many "little things" that are depending on me, too many little things to enjoy, teach and cherish

to be overwhelmed with my own lack of  hemoglobin.

This littlest monkey in particular keeps me on my toes lately!  They can sniff out weakness like a bloodhound.  Game on kids!  Mommy is back.

I have more exciting news than iron supplements that I've been waiting to share...

but you'll have to wait just a little longer.  Stay tuned....and no, it has nothing to do with supplements or my rapidly aging body. 

A rant about Happy Shiny Salesman Preachers

Because sometimes I need a good morning rant.

Here's the scoop, with a tasty sprinkle of sarcasm:

If you wanted to promote yourself, sell your books, sell your brand of feel good -God wants you to be rich religion what do you do?

Here are my suggestions....but apparently the most "unfluential" pastors motivational speakers out there have already discovered these strategies on their own.

First,  appeal to people's basic greed.
In our natural hearts we have an insatiable lust for more.  More wealth, more prosperity, more success, more health....more fame.   Promise people that their wildest dreams with come true if they come to Jesus and they will come, by the thousands.  They will enthusiastically embrace the incarnate God of the universe as their own personal VLT token.

Next,  paint God as  a giant vending machine.  God the great idol giver!  Forget crushing your idols.  God wants nothing more than to serve you up your idols on a silver platter.  Is it status you want?....just ask.  Is it health you desire?..just demand it.  Is it riches you crave?...just put a coin in the slot...chant a few times and cha-ching.  Or at least that's what the smiling guy standing on the stage is thinking.  Cha-ching all the way home to the mega mansion.

Assure people that they deserve it.  This will seductively play into their natural religious and moral pride.  Sell them a vaguely Christian version of karma.  Everyone wants to feel in control of their own destiny.   If they send their money to the guy on tv , do some good deeds, and smile a lot...God will owe them whatever their sinfilled, corrupt little heart desires.   You deserve it after all.  Don't worry about anyone else....just show the world by example how an "abundant and victorious" life should be lived.  After all Jesus hung on that cross so you could have a Bentley...and a mansion on the hill.  You will win others to Christ purely by their jealousy of your money.  Inform them  that all they need to do is chant the holy name of Jesus, live by a basic code of ethics, and they could be this "blessed too".    That was God's ultimate plan all along....he wants you to be a shiny, happy, chipper, positive thinking, self made man.  Kind of like Jesus...oh wait...scrap that.

If you really want to get fancy, start selling people a generational version of God karma.  You are rich and "blessed " today because your great great great grand-daddy was a good guy who smiled at people a lot. Or  even better, God is going to "bless you with riches" today because your great great great grand-daddy was treated unjustly...and now God owes you some retribution payments. You deserve it!  The moral of the story is be nice, do nice things and your great grand daughter will thank you for it when money falls from the sky.  On the flip side if people are starving and suffering....they must deserve it too.  They should try harder to win God's "favor".  Seriously folks, people blindly soak this stuff up.  If you refer only casually to biblical references taken totally out of context they will never know you just made it up.

Lastly, Give daily tidbits of advice on how to live their best live now.   Keeping them addicted to ill informed anecdotes and advice about nutrition, health, finances, and  the power of positive thinking will help everyone feel like a king's kid.  Assure them that they have the power to make themselves good people.  They should impress God enough that he'll open up the coffers of heaven....or at least they'll open up their wallets to buy more of what your selling.

Whatever you do don't let people find out that  "God doesn’t get things done through spiritual pick-me-ups, but through death and resurrection." 


Self improvement advice is so much more palatable than preaching uncomfortable things like death to self, cross carrying, and sacrifice.  It certainly won't win you a spot on Goodmorning America or a page in Forbes magazine.  


If you don't sell Jesus along with an appealing inheritance reward package what are you left with?  Just Jesus.    After all, leading people to a life of humble repentance and  surrender, accurately teaching people the Word of God, ministering to the hurting with the truth that Jesus is sufficient...that Jesus is the reward...just doesn't quite have the same level of pizzaz and stage sparkle.  I suppose you could try adding some jazz hands and a little tap dance to the end of your biblical exegesis just to give it more stage appeal.  



Preaching that the sacrificial, radical grace giving, bloody, God glorifying, gospel of Jesus Christ is central and sufficient  for both salvation as well as sanctification just wouldn't do.   


Using the Bible as more than a feel good recipe for moral and successful living probably wouldn't sell very well either.  


 Preaching about the reality of our wretched totally depraved condition before a holy God just doesn't make people feel like the winner's they know they are.   Preparing congregations for suffering, loss and trials ....well they would rather hear 3 simple steps to make all their problems disappear.  


If you don't deceptively scratch their itching ears and tell them what they want to hear, who will? I'm sure satan doesn't already have that one covered.









A little something to think about.
Do we know to the depths of our spirits the all satisfying depth, breadth and beauty of the true gospel of Jesus Christ?  Or are we being charmed by something else?

So thankful for 18 months

My baby is morphing into a little girl a little more each day. 

She follows the big kids around and is convinced she can do everything that they can.  

She is full of toddler opinions, attitude, and independence.

Her scrunched up nose ear to ear smile, and generous giggles light up our home.

Miss Cece is a smoocher.  There is nothing sweeter than her little puckered lips and her chubby hands on my cheeks.  

Anytime she hears music she dances. 

She loves to snuggle and sing with me in the rocking chair at bedtime.

She is Daddy's little sidekick, and his cherished treasure.

Every little girl should have a Daddy that reflects God's constant, secure, gentle, protecting, and adoring love for her.   I'm so thankful that I have that kind of Dad, and that my kids do too. 

It makes my heart ache to know that so many little girls don't know that kind of love, most will seek to fill that void the rest of their lives. 

I adore her curls.  

She is my little shadow, wanting to "help" with every chore.  

Grandpa is arguably one of her favorite people...quite possibly THE favorite.  The sound of his voice coming in the back door sends her into a frenzy of squealing elation.  She swoons, snuggles, plays, and is jealous for his full attention.  I think the swooning is mutual.  

We are so thankful for 1 1/2 years with our little treasure. 

Happy Friday!

So glad it's the weekend.  Me and my Honey are going to town!  Nothing a trip to Walmart can't fix.

Something Hazardous

"My desire and prayer to God is that your life and your ministry would have a radical flavor. A risk taking flavor, a gutsy, counter cultural, war time  flavor that makes average American people in your church uncomfortable.  A strange mixture of tenderness and toughness that keeps people a little bit off balance.  A pervasive summons to something more, something hazardous, something wonderful.  A saltiness and a brightness about your life...something like Jesus. "


"Jesus said do this.  Be light. Be salt.   Reviling comes. Persecution comes....and you rejoice.
....Crazy people who meet cancer, and meet death, and meet suffering with unflinching confidence in Christ and joy in being known by him and loved by him." John Piper

So much easier said than done.

Are we willing to embrace suffering...especially the kind that we choose by following Jesus into a world that hates him?    Are we willing to set our face unflinchingly toward heart break, pain, sacrifice, sickness, and loss as Jesus set his face toward Jerusalem?

Our natural inclination is to run from it.   Run far far away.   We would rather live in pleasant denial, blindness, self righteous arrogance, or apathetic compromise. I know when I  face unjust criticism, slander, or malicious treatment I feel the need to justify, defend and vindicate myself, anything but carry it to Jesus.

The honest truth of it is, we love our own lives, our reputations, our comfort, our money and our success more than we love the people of this world...or the One who died to redeem it.   We  love people for what they can do for us (or our kids)...not out of genuine grace and sacrifice.  If someone had nothing to offer us in return, no relationship, no obligation, no status, no reward...would we still love them?  At the same time, sometimes genuine love involves holding someone accountable, and leading them toward God's best for them...even when we have to risk our own desire for relationship, reputation, and convenience to do so.

"When Christ calls a man , he bids him to come and die"  Bonhoeffer.

Most Christians hide from persecution.  We crave the affections and approval of people more than intimacy with and obedience to Jesus.  We bow to the idol of people pleasing, and self preservation.  We avoid discomfort at all costs.

Do we truly reflect the one we call our Lord?  Or do we just use him as our self help cousellor, ticket to heaven, moral example, or good advice giver?
Are we willing to actually get our hands dirty?  Are we able  to be slandered, rejected, despised, and hated  and to glorify God in the midst of it all?   Are we willing to be unpopular for speaking truth?  Not likely. Not without the work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. It's easier to numb ourselves with easy lies.

"The truth will set you free"....but  in this life, for many believers, that freedom  looks like imprisonment, death, and persecution.

I think most average North American Christians know very little about suffering for doing good.  I know nothing of the persecution that many believers in the world and throughout history face.  The concept is completely foreign to most of us.   It seems we believe more in a Christian version of karma than we do the actual bloody, sacrificial, radical love displaying gospel of Jesus.   We tell our kids...."be nice, and people will be nice to you"...and even worse we believe it.   

I hear sentiments from Christians like "God just wants us to live our best life" in the context of make a lot of money, pursue a lot of wonderful experiences, and buy a lot of stuff to make us as happy as possible.  "If I'm a good person and try to live a life of integrity God will bless me with success, money, comfort etc" , as if God owes us something for our efforts.  {As if our moral efforts are anything but a steaming manure pile compared to the holiness of God.}  The problem of that line of thought is, at some point every body will come face to face with pain and loss regardless of how good you think you are.   How will your shallow sentiments and Christian karma feel then?  Probably like cold comfort...or an uncomfortable itchy sweater that you can't wait to tear off. What if God's blessing comes to you in the form of suffering...a "thorn in the flesh"?  Can we thank him for loving us enough to train and test us?
I think too many Christian believe the myth that "Jesus will make all your problems go away"...eventually He will...yes...but that comes after you die.  Until then, you follow in the steps of a homeless guy who was crucified, chances are that path isn't all gum drops and roses.  Pain brings us face to face with our idols and in crushing them...teaches us the essence of worship.

At some point everyone  feels the weight of grief, loss, disappointment, and the sting of betrayal.   If you are a follower of Christ you will, by default, choose it...and you will only thrive in it by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus warns his disciples, and Paul warns the churches that they WILL face hardship and suffering.  The disciples all chose death, stoning, being boiled alive, and crucifiction instead of returning to their previous comfortable life.  Not because they had to, but because God's love compelled them to.


When you choose to swim upstream your muscles will burn and ache and you will get slapped in the face by some salmon.  If you're comfortably floating downstream in an inner tube chances are you'll think this whole river ride is a breeze.

If you do nothing, if you stand for nothing, if you are not a threat to Satan and his ongoing deception and destruction, if you don't venture out,  if you don't speak the Word,  if you don't point to Jesus, if you don't  love the people that the lost world and the religious moralists despise.....you will feel no sting of opposition.

"In fact, everyone who wants to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil men will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived." 2 Timothy 3:12

I know someone who risked it all to love a child..poured their time, affection, money and tears into a child for a decade but were turned away by one judges ruling. Opposition.  That is running toward pain, counting the cost and following Jesus.   That is not playing it safe.

If you love sacrificially,  extend grace radically,  give generously, speak truth boldly, serve with humility, step into a journey of reckless faith,  and count your own life as loss...

You will be slandered.  You will be cast out.   You will be rejected.   You will suffer loss and heartbreak.
You will be opposed.
At some point you will look at your completely empty bank account but trust that God will provide.  You will know from experience that God will give you the strength to persevere even when everything around you says quit.

And you will thank him for loving you enough to refine you even more...
and you will beg Him to show you more of His glory.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" 1 Peter 1:6

"Do not be surprised, my brothers, when the world hates you.  We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death.  Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and  you know that no murderer has eternal life in him." 1 John 3:13

"Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."  Colossians 3: 12








On a different topic.   Have you heard of Marc Martel?....he was on Ellen this past Monday because his video singing "somebody to love" by Queen went viral and he entered a cover band contest.  He is a Canadian prairie boy too.  We actually attended the same Bible College as my husband and I did.  Small world.  Anyhoo.....he and his band are called "Downhere".  They have been a favorite of mine for years.  Check them out on youtube ...then go buy their album on itunes.

Here is Marc singing a very applicable song by Keith Green.  I love it!!
"the world is sleeping in the dark that the church just can't fight 'cause' it's sleeping in the light.
how can you be so dead , when you've been so well fed?   'Cause Jesus rose from the grave dead and you can't even get out of bed"



and just for kicks...Queen.

Audacious

I don't know why I used the word audacious as a title, other than that word clattered around in my head last week.  Maybe it's just a fun word to say.

Bold, unconventional, fearless, daring, unrestrained.     Exactly the kind of faith we need to have to move mountains.

Right now I am none of those things.   I am discouraged, weak, shaken, and wounded.   Maybe I was given the phrase "Audacious faith" to ponder earlier this week because God knew I would need it by Friday.

It's been a difficult weekend, despite the fun we had.   I was reminded once again  that even though we make plans God ultimately directs our steps.   Sometimes the path we're confidently walking down drops out from under us and we're left suspended frantically looking for the road ahead.

The lies being told to me are "you are going to fall...there is nothing for you up ahead.  This is the end of the road.  You are rejected.  You may as well just quit now.  Give up.   Forget your dreams and your passions.   Go build a comfortable life, reclaim what you've willingly given up, and set up camp in the land of bitterness".   I'm being wooed to that place.

Do I have the audacity to trust, serve, and keep walking forward even when I can't see the path?

Even when our dreams, affections, and plans have been mocked and opposed?   I not only see the enemy at work but also God.   He knows that our security, affections, and plans were held too firmly in our own short sighted grasp.  

How often do we continue confidently walking down a rut.  An easy, comfortable place when God has something so much better for us.
 I know God's purposes are sovereign.  He will use what was meant to defeat us for our good and his glory.  

I am confidant that God uses even closed doors, mistakes, rejections, and opposition.  He will redeem them for his perfect will.    What may start as a door slammed in our faces by the one who wants us to become paralyzed by fear and discouragement,  can also be God saying it's time to shake the dust off of your sandals and come with me.  I have another road to lead you down.  The last path was part of your training.  Do not fear.  I am still working.  My calling has not changed.  Come spend some time seeking only me and then your eyes will be opened to where you should place your next step. Trust me. 

I know there is so much more waiting beyond what I can see  here in the dark.  A week ago I walked along confidently thinking I knew were I was going...now I'm sitting here nursing the sting of stubbed toes.. squinting...willing my eyes to see...hoping to catch just a glimpse of the path.

 It will take an audacious faith, another cleansing of the Holy Spirit,  and the full armour of God to resist the baited traps of offense that the enemy has laid seductively in my path....and to resist crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head.








"Word of God speak,
would you pour down like rain
washing my eyes to see your majesty.
To be still and know that you're in this place
please let me stay and rest in your holiness"




 

Summertime The Sequel Encore..the last camping trip for real this time

We just spent another night camping.  We finished off our harvest season Friday and promptly threw the kids in the car, hooked up the trailer and drove to the lake. 

The weather here Friday was amazing!  I didn't even take swimsuits because...it's OCTOBER!

but it was warm enough for them.

This trip was unique because we met up with some "new friends".  Funny story.

We met a family at this park a couple months ago and decided we should be friends.

It's not everyday you meet someone at the beach, strike up a conversation, and make  plans meet up for a camping trip in the fall.  It was that wierd...or God ordained.

This young family stood out to us the day we met them because of their multi-ethnic fabulousness...and they had a whole herd of little kids.   Upon further stalking we discovered that 4 of their children are adopted from Ethiopia (at varying ages) and two grown the old fashioned way.  They have a passion for adoption (obviously) and take their faith, missional living, and raising their brood of kids seriously....although not serious enough to be moralistic elitists, legalists, or freaks...well maybe they are freaks by most peoples standards but only in ways we think are awesome.   They are authentic, grace filled people.   So relaxing.

It was so cool to spend 24 hours with a family that loves Jesus and lives their whole life in light of the extravagant grace they have received.  

We had the campground basically to our selves and we parked in front of the old-school play ground.  The 10 kids ran like a herd or howler monkeys while the four adults talked each others ears off sitting by the fire.  We had SO much to talk about.  I used up my words I think.  The great part is my new mommy friend is a great chatter box too so I didn't end up dominating the conversation like I sometimes do.  

 I hate small talk and casual conversation with acquaintances (I'm a total social nerd)... but I LOVE getting to really know people, building relationships, and joining in authentic community.  

 I love it when people are genuine.  No competitiveness, no agenda,  no insecurity,  no strings attached, no image to keep up, nothing to prove.  So refreshing!  All our kids ate junk food and ran around with holes in their jeans.   Only once did I point out the fact that I was a better mother because my kids had lettuce in their sandwiches.   Ha!  Just kidding...well, actually I did say that, but just to make a sarcastic point about parental pride and competitiveness.

 Honestly though, they are a few years younger than us but we can learn a thing or two about grace filled, dedicated, gospel focused parenting from this couple.  I look forward to gleaning more wisdom.   

Speaking of love...we have already arranged the marriages of our children...although I need to add a couple to keep them from being polygamists.   These two walked around like this both days...the whole time.  A four year old boy and an 18 month old girl aren't a typical favorite playmate combination but they were inseparable.  This sweet little boy was like a little mother   father hen.  I fell in love with all their kids...and my new mom friend.  

It was God's provision, and encouragement for this discouraged mommy {me}at just the right time. 

We chatted for hours about adoption, Africa, foster parenting, curriculum, homeschooling, practical and applied theology, parenting....

I'm still on cloud nine.   It's a rare thing indeed to find someone who can relate, give advice and share wisdom on all these things that make up my own life and interests.  

The kids had a great time together. Although it started to look a little "Lord of the Flies" once the t-shirts came off and they found old tiki torches in the trees.