What a big, messy, adoptive family needs from a church

Sometimes I'm afraid we've withdrawn too much from our grace account, that we've required too much support, or been loved more than we deserve already.

Time and time again my little family has been served and loved.

When you begin to live in  community with a group of people who genuinely love God and love people "church" becomes more to you than something on your weekly "to-do" list, or a place you go to worship.

The Church is people.

It is the redeemed people of God from the remotest corners of the world, from every tongue, tribe, and nation.  Regardless of where they are we are one big extended family.

On a local level "the church" is more intimate community.
We all need, as Christians, a local church to be plugged into.  We were created for community.

The local church for us, has been a lifeline these last couple years.

God used our community to walk through our recent adoptions with us,
to encourage us when we were despairing,
to challenge us when we grew apathetic,
to guide us when we needed wisdom,
and to correct us when we start to forget who we are in Christ.

They have reminded us what it is to be loved and served by such a generous God, so we can continue to love and serve others.

We aren't a family every church would appreciate.  We take up space, we're noisy, kind of messy and lately we've been pretty needy. We embrace chaos, leave a trail, and can't seem to get our act together.  Not even long enough to put on a good show for Sunday morning.

We come with special needs, hyper kids, sketchy attitudes, and stubborn sins.  Parenting is hard, special needs parenting is relentless, adoption is utterly draining, and the redemptive work that goes on in my living room is both incredible and terrifying.

The very nature of our family has the potential to make people feel uncomfortable, and I believe it is a rare thing for a church to be able to fully embrace that.  Keeping us at arms length, would be cleaner, easier to calculate, and less challenging.

 My kids have been known to show up at our Sunday morning gathering with patched jeans, mismatched socks, and bedhead.  My three year old has been known to run around wearing a tu-tu and fairy wings but we're there.  With bells on.  God knows we try but "put together" is sometimes just beyond the realm of possibility when we leave the house at 8a.m.

 The best part is no one cares how "put together" we seem, because they love us.
They see us with Jesus' eyes and we've got no one to impress.

We drive for an hour and a half each way to meet together with our church every Sunday because we love them.  We don't only go to be served and to drink from the gospel fire hose (which we are and we do) but we go also to serve, encourage, and welcome new people because it's not about us, our preferences and "our needs".  Not a bit.  There's something bigger and more transformative happening here.  It has everything to do with God's glory and nothing to do with ours.

When you get a whole group of people together who know that this mission is not about them, their preferences, their glory, and their needs, people are freed to truly serve each other and it's amazing to witness how those needs just naturally get met.

So, just when I think that we've been too needy already,
required too much grace,
needed too much support,
and taken too much patience
Jesus' people show up and prove to us once again that God's grace just doesn't run dry.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and tell you exactly what a family with young kids, adopted kids, foster kids, and kids with "special needs", need from a church.

It is not a flawless performance,
a long lists of programs,
a coffee shop in an impressive library,
or a wide variety of family based ministries,
but rather a church that keeps it's eyes on Jesus and his mission. Those things can be useful and nice but they aren't the main thing.

We need a church that is being what Jesus designed the Church to be.   A place we can be real with our struggles, our scars, and our fears, knowing that we are loved enough for people to speak truth into our lives, even truth that's hard to hear sometimes.

 Families like mine (the big messy ones with lots of kids)  need a "village" that is so saturated with the gospel,
so well fed,
so Holy Spirit empowered,
so committed to living in genuine community,
so intentionally discipled and living under the authority of the Word of God that they can't help but leak all that love, humility, gratitude, mercy, boldness, and grace all over each other's lives.

That, my friends, is the church that we need.

Living in community is messy, it requires effort, it is refining and sanctifying but it is a beautiful thing when people (who are so diverse that if it weren't for this ragtag little family called the Church would probably not even know each other) love each other deeply and sacrificially.

So when you hear the word "church"
I wish you could see what I see, the view from here.
I want you to know that we don't have to do this faith journey alone, in fact we're not supposed to do it alone.




















                                                                                                                                                             
For all the meals that have filled my freezer,
for all the offers of childcare during difficult times,
for every time a college student has taken time to sit and hear the stories of a 10 year old boy,
for every time a "grandma" has encouraged me, and reminded me how much my rowdy kids are loved,
for every time that our pastors have shown up to support, encourage, and make each one of my kids feel like they are valued,
for every time my oldest daughter is complimented, encouraged, and mentored by young godly women
for every time my son with a disability is not seen as a disability,
for all the countless little ways that we are shown genuine sacrificial love...

Thankyou Jesus' people both near and far.  Thankyou for letting God use you.

"The church is not an institution for perfect people. It is a sanctuary for sinners saved by grace, a nursery for God's sweet children to be nurtured and grow strong. It is the fold for Christ's sheep, the home for Christ's family. The church is the dearest place on earth."  
The Village Church.



Soli Deo Gloria,

Keeping Up

I've been pondering this little old blog for a bit today.

It's been a little hobby of mine for five years now but it's been mostly the same for all of those years. A pretty steady number of hits on each post, a pretty steady number of readers, the same number of 'followers' month after month, year after year.  I'm actually kind of ok with that (especially since I've never really made the effort to achieve anything else or aspired to be a "big blogger"), but being the 'same' all the time get's kind of boring.  Or maybe it's just me that's gotten boring...which is quite likely too.

 Every once in a while I try to assess, evaluate, and try to decide what I want to do with it, if I want to continue, or if I have actual goals associated with my little form of online therapy.

I've also been trying lately to update myself, and I'm trying to keep up with the changing world of social networking and blogging.  I admit I feel like a low tech girl in a high tech world.

I recently opened up my first Instagram account. When I created my account last week, I was shocked to see that I might be the only person I know not on there.   I had to borrow my daughters (second hand) iphone to do it too.   I still don't have a smart phone, in fact I may be the last person on the planet who uses a regular old flip style cell phone.  I fear I have become irrelevant, maybe even obsolete.  A full fledged old fogie.  I can't even figure out Pinterest...or stand to look at it long enough to figure out why it's relevant to me.  But I refuse to be left behind!...although I'm pretty sure I'm limping a solid distance behind the crowd.

I've been observing some other blogggers and blogs and I realized that I needed to try a few new things to keep you all involved, interested, and intrigued.

Because clearly my witty humour and charming personality simply aren't enough.

So, with some trepidation and fear of being perceived as (or actually being) narcissistic I opened a Facebook page just for my blog. Ta-da!

 I have a personal page as well that I spew all over, and clutter up with all kinds of jibber jabber but I decided it might be better to have a page that is more of an interactive community...and less nonsense posts from me.

 I so appreciate those of you who have joined me here...some of you for nearly five years.
I would love a place for readers, lurkers, commenter's, and friends to be able to stay up to date, be involved, ask questions, make comments, and share their own story.  Think of it like us getting together for coffee...or sitting in a porch swing with some ice tea (in the summer...right now the tea would be a little heavy on the ice).  Come and hang out, stay in touch, and share your own voice.
I've had no shortage of sharing mine...now I would love to get to know you, the reader, better.

So, my new addition is linked in the top right corner of my blog.  If you so desire you may click on it, and hit "like" on my page.  I will be tickled, and all giddy in the dorkiest of ways.

I realize that I might sit here with crickets chirping like the last kid picked for the dodge ball team, or the kid who finds herself alone at a junior high cafeteria table...but I'm ok with that too.

This is merely a little experiment, not a popularity contest, or a need to be validated.

After all, I survived the literal sitting along in Junior High, and was often picked last for teams in gym class...so 15 "likes" might actually seem like a step up.

In other news,

this little man is doing amazing.

Seriously. 

It's almost annoying how resilient he is.  

Thankyou to those of you who prayed for us, and for him.  It has all gone so much smoother than we expected and were prepared for.

I am so thankful that I can now walk on two feet, and have two free hands.  I'm not very graceful or fast, and I don't have full range of motion in either ankle/ foot yet....but I can now carry my child again.  I can make dinner, and sweep the floor, and bake, and even carry laundry up the stairs!

I never ever thought I'd be thankful to be able to do those things, but I am.  I'm almost giddy about it. I have two feet, and I can walk on them.   Some things we should just never take for granted.

Maybe I'm more keenly aware of that now that Elijah's ability to walk has gone backwards about 20 steps.

It is an honour to be this little guys Mama.

Uncomfortable

Quick update:   Thankyou for praying.  The surgery went very well yesterday, and his recovery has been much smoother than anticipated...so much so that we were sent home from the hospital a couple days early! Yay, for not sleeping another night in a noisy crowded pediatrics hospital room.   Little man is being as brave as can be.  

                                   
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A week ago I was enjoying the citty of Seattle, the company of my sister and nephew, and absorbing  some encouraging and challenging messages from the speakers at the "Resurgence" leadership conference R13.  (click here for a highlights reel)
 

It was such a great time, and there was SO much wisdom shared for those who are leading ministries, serving in various capacities, or just living their lives on mission with Jesus.  The  atmosphere of the conference was one of deep authentic humility, purpose, and unity.   I came home refreshed.  The whole conference is available free online...it's an excellent resource.  You have to sign into an online account to access it but it's totally worth the couple minutes it takes.  Also don't be deterred by the first few minutes of volume in the intro by Mark Driscoll.  The whole conference wasn't as intense as the first few minutes, but it was all really good. Mark also gives a very informative missiological lecture regarding the cultural shifts and "death of Christendom" in America.  Every speaker has his own unique style...and like one preacher stated, it takes all kinds of preachers to reach all kinds of people.  I love that each of the speakers is unique in their gifting, and style, but united in the gospel.  Rick Warren had so many helpful, and wise things to say regarding temptation, character, integrity, and humility. 

 I'm so glad I was able to go and be there in person, It was surreal to sit only a couple rows away from pastors that I've listened to online for years.  The line up this year was Matt Chandler, Rick Warren, Crawford Loritts, Greg Laurie, and Mark Driscoll.  In all honesty the preachers I appreciated the most were the ones I'd barely heard of before, like Crawford Loritts.  His message was so good.  

 It was a bit of a challenge to travel alone with crutches but where there's a will there's a way,   I've been told I have a bit of a strong will.  In fact, I learned that this strong will can actually be a bit of pride that keeps me from asking for help, even when I need it. I learned some of those lessons the hard way. 

 The Hubster and the kidlets did just fine while I was away.  The house was tidy, the kids were alive, and he even made sure to take all the kids swimming before they met me at the airport so they would be clean.  

On the agenda for this week is a lot of time spent in a hospital.  Early tomorrow morning we drop a few kids off at Grandma and Grandpas house and take Elijah in for surgery on his legs.  

 It's a fairly delicate surgery that will lengthen his tendons and ham strings.  We have been told to expect that he will be in a lot of pain, that he will be in the hospital for the rest of the week, and that he will be in leg casts for about 8 weeks after that.  The spasticity of his muscles present some extra challenges with recovery.

I praise God that my broken ankle is healing and I am able to get around a bit without crutches now and carry some weight on my foot.  That will make caring for him not only easier but logistically possible.  It kind of feels like we've been transitioning from one challenging season to another, to another this year.  I'm realizing more that each one of these challenges has better prepared us to face the next one.  None of it is wasted.

 How often are we like the little boy going through surgery?  Scared.  Doubting.  Wondering why we have to go through it.  Wondering how it is that we can be loved by our Father and still be allowed to suffer. 

We are putting our son through this because we know (or at least trust) that this will be what is best for him.  It will cause temporary affliction, pain and distress but it will have long term gain.  We know that he will struggle to even begin to comprehend this truth.  He will likely just wonder why we're allowing him to be hurt.  He may wonder why, after working so long and hard to walk, that we have taken that from him.  

How often do we respond to trials in our own lives that way?  

 As my heart breaks to know my child will endure some really rough days ahead, I know our Father is not uncaring when we endure hardship either.  

A good parent pushes their child out of what’s comfortable, and even allows some rough
 stuff, in order to have them grow and become strong…but the love remains unchanged.

Would you please pray that we would all weather this little storm well, to the glory of God. 

 Please pray for the wisdom of the surgeon (as some decisions will be made during the

 surgery depending on what they find), and for the recovery...and for patience for the entire

family as we each, in turn (or sometimes all at the same time), struggle to set aside our own

little self-kingdom, to serve and love as we have been so loved and served by Christ.

While the physical stuff is tough, another concern for him is more psychological and emotional.  We have worked so hard to help him feel secure, loved and protected this year since he joined our family, and I pray that he would feel confident in our love for him as he recovers....even as we have to push him, make him walk again, and do things that will cause him a lot of discomfort.  He is very prone to fear and anxiety when routines and locations change.

   

Heart wounds are slower to heal than tendons and muscles.

One thing I've had to learn this year is that my loving him has to cause some element of hurt.  Everyday I must stretch him.  I have firm orders from the orthopedic specialist, and his therapists, that this must be done.  Not doing it would be unloving negligence....but doing it hurts him.  All parents experience this to an extent because we must make our kids do stuff that that they just don't want to do, but parenting a child with CP has shown me even more how sometimes loving someone means that we must do what's best for them, and that growth means struggle.  

My son has given me such a clearer window into my own heart, and a model of so many spiritual, gospel truths that I can no longer ignore.

Thankyou my cyber friends for caring about our little family, and holding us up in prayer. 

"God may allow testing in your life not to break you but to make you stronger for the task ahead" 

 Greg Laurie  - R13

"You need to know what it feels like for the Holy Spirit to carry you, to be crushed and know Christ is sufficient."  Crawford Loritts - R13

Soli Deo Gloria, 

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today we were on our way to Mexico.

We were spending time together as a family, while we drove south.

Our family one year ago.

Something special also happened one year ago today.

Miss Cece's paperwork FINALLY went to the judge and he approved us to be her forever family.

We didn't actually know that this had happened on Oct. 31 until we returned home 7 weeks later and opened our mail. 

One year ago today, this little girl officially became our daughter.  

The Insecure Son

         Holding onto a Strawberry Shortcake book, little sister crawls up on Mama's lap and snuggles in close.  Across the room Elijah notices.  A look of betrayal, fear and horror crosses his face and he fights the urge to cry.

Holding back his tears, he rushes to mommy's side.  He insists that little sister only get one book.  Just one.  No more.

Mama invites him to sit up on her lap too, but that would be giving up half of what rightfully belongs to him.  No.  He will wait.   He tries his best to wait patiently for the book to end.
He fidgets.  He moans.  He sighs.
He slumps face first on the floor.
He starts to whine,
 then rant,
 then full on rage.

Like a jilted lover, his jealousy comes from a deep desire to love and be loved...and it is fueled by fear of losing what he had. Fear of losing his position as beloved son.

 It's just too much for his little scarred heart to bear.
Desperate, he begins to grab, pull, claw, flop and wail.
What began as a spark of envy, fans into a full on epic life or death battle.

A similar episode can be sparked by a simple hug, a kiss, or  Mommy helping little sister put on her pajamas.  Sometimes he has the fortitude to contain the misery, sometimes it all comes rushing out.  If Mama kisses little sister, she'd better give Elijah one too.  If little sister gets a kind word, she'd better reassure Elijah too.  He's keeping track.

When Mama finishes the second book (after offering to share her lap many times) she speaks firmly to her son letting him know that he needs to stop this behavior if he wants to have a story too. She reminds him how much he is loved...even while he continues to rage.

 Minutes later he is snuggled in on Mommy's lap weeping his remorseful "sorry Mama"  "Sorry chair"  "Sorry Cece"  Sorry book".

He is sorry.  So terribly, horribly guilt ridden. Immobilized with shame, and  fear that he will be found out, that others will know.  They will know the beast of insecurity that he keeps hidden inside.  He is terrified he has crossed the line and hit a point of no return.

For the next few hours his guilt and fear will motivate him to perform.  He will show off every skill he has mastered.  He counts to 10.  He cleans up.  He scrubs the floor with a rag he happens to find..then the wall.  He works to prove that he is worthy to be loved.  He works to earn what he fears he may have lost.  He reminds me of all the wonderful things he has done, and is doing, while at the same time pointing out the fact that little sister isn't keeping up.
He is pleased with himself, but still afraid.

This is a cycle repeated over and over and over by a little boy who is filled with fear.  We assure him of our unconditional, forever, love at regular intervals every single day...but he doesn't yet "get it".  Our love is still something he has to fret over, fight for, and earn.

As I watch my son go through this cycle of insecurity, it strikes me as a greater spiritual truth.

So why are so many Christians's lives stuck in this same pattern?
Do we resemble children who are secure, confident, and resting peacefully in the Father's love, or are we always watching for ways that others might threaten our position in the family?

Church, do you see it?

When someone succeeds, is thriving, or receives a gift that you desire (or that is different from yours) does it positively eat you up inside?  Do you feel it somehow takes away from you?  Do you make yourself feel better by undermining it, making excuses, or sabotaging someone else?

Do you carry a smug "sour grapes" attitude?   "I didn't want to read that book anyway..." "I bet it's a sucky book"

How about offense?  Do you feel that gut rotting, seething sense of being offended every time someone doesn't personally acknowledge or validate you?

Fear breeds loathing and envy.
Insecurity produces Christians who compete with each other and cut each other down, instead of cheer each other on toward holiness.

Security is born out of assurance.

Religion leads to either pride or despair...or cycles of both.
Religion tells us that we need to...
work for validation.
strive for acceptance.
prove we are worthy to be loved.
Free grace, a one way love poured out on sinners, is just too risky.  Too scary.  We would rather earn God's pleasure by putting our fear to work.  We want something we can calculate, control, and keep track of, like a resume of good deeds that we hope will tip the balance, and move the scales to our favor.


When Elijah goes into "look how good I am" mode it doesn't make me think
"wow look at all he can do.  I'm sure glad I have him on my team!".
It makes me sad.
It breaks my heart because I know he doesn't get it yet.
He is not yet secure in this, one way, unconditional love that brought him into our family.  I shower him with reassurance, encourage him, remind him how much he's loved and adored, and prove it daily by my care of him....but sometimes he's so busy trying to earn it himself, that he just doesn't hear.  

Little by little he is making strides.  Month after month he is showing more signs of peace, confidence, and assurance.

Here's the thing:  God changes, encourages, and motivates us not by fear of losing our sonship, but by the security of His love.  

This is one of the things that makes the *gospel* different and distinct from all religions. We are not driven into action by a fear based system of rules and requirements that will earn our way to God.


Until you know you are His, and He is yours,
your obedience will be limited,
your confidence will be shaky,
your love will be carefully calculated,
and your courage will be minimal.

That is not what we want out of our relationships with our children, so why would God desire that from us?  Do we desire that our kids obey merely because they think we'll kick them to the curb if they don't?  No, our desire is that they respond to our authority out of a sense of trust, and love for us....a love that develops by realizing how much they have been loved first,


Religion can command us to change behavior but it cannot change our hearts.  It can tell us what is right, but it will never make us love what us right.  Only the *gospel, and the complete assurance it yields, and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, create a passion for holiness in our hearts, because the very nature of our hearts is changed.

My children need a Savior just like I do.  My highest desire is that they would understand that.  I want them to recognize the Lordship of Jesus and believe he did what he said he did, and is who he says he is.
A saving faith looks OUTSIDE of itself to what Jesus has already done, not back onto itself on what it has done.  Faith can't rest securely in itself.
 It is not the strength of our faith, the sincerity of our beliefs, the flawless performance of our Christian life, or the list of deeds we have accomplished, that is the firm rock that we can plant our assurance on.   It is always, only, the object of our faith that can save.  Jesus.  The one who pursued and loved us first. 

That assurance creates not only a deep and lasting peace...
but also strength.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

Church,  are we the peaceful, secure, "attached" sons who respond and work out of confident trust that we are already loved, and have been shown grace we couldn't earn?

 Or are we the coveting, defensive, fear motivated, sons who are constantly clinging to control, and trying to prove to ourselves, to others, and to God that we are worth loving? (or at least more "worthy" that that guy who's struggling to keep it together, or the lady who's a hot mess over there)

Watching this scenario play out over and over again in my home has made me ponder topics like this with a new set of eyes.

So many times I see my son battling his own insecurities, and lack of belief in what he already owns...

and I see myself.

*When I use the term gospel I mean the historic Gospel of Jesus Christ crucified and resurrected.   The word Gospel means "good news". "The Gospel" is more than a collection of facts to be believed, it is the good and true story that Jesus died and rose to defeat sin, death and evil in order to make all things new.  While we were still enemies of God, sinners by nature and choice, rebels bent on rejecting him and seeking our own way, God, being rich in mercy, sent is only son Jesus into the world to live the life we could not live and die the death we deserved to die.  As followers of Jesus we have come to realize that we are far more broken than we really comprehend, but in Christ we are more accepted than we could ever imagine.  That is good news indeed. 






Soli Deo Gloria,

Yes, we're crazy

My last post was mostly whining about how overwhelming daily life has been, and how anything "extra" nearly feels impossible.

So, what did we do?

We decided to go camping this past weekend.

I must admit I was skeptical when my husband suggested it.

We had hoped to have one more family weekend in the trailer, BEFORE I broke my leg, but I didn't expect we would do it now, especially this late in the year.

I was doubtful that we could pull it off.  After all, packing, preparing, and functioning during a camping trip (and cleaning up after it) generally falls largely on the mom in this house.

We were given the chance to have family pictures in the City taken on Friday, and we had other things to do in the city on Sunday so we decided to park our trailer in a small campground on the outskirts of the City.

It was a "chips all in" move.

I figured this attempt at a weekend get away would either be the final nail in the coffin that held our sanity.  I feared that that it might be the end of us...

but I also had a shred of hope that it might be just what we needed. 

Make it or break it.  

It was cold.  We had an odd array of clothing packed.

...and we picked up most of what we needed for food (and every other essential that was forgotten) in the City.

It turned out to be exactly what we needed.

I suspect a luxurious warm hotel suite would have been lovely too...

but this is vacationing on the cheap with a family of seven.

At the end of the day it's not about the accommodations, it was about the time together as a family outside of our monotonous routine and ordinary location.

We have only had family pictures done a couple of times over the years and generally they have always included crying babies and beligerant toddlers...and a lot of threats and bribery.  We were overdue for another family pic, that included all our family members.

This time was so different.  Maybe because the kids were older, or maybe because we told them we'd take them to a movie if they cooperated but we actually had fun with it.  I cannot wait to see the finished pictures!  Our photographer is amazing.

This weekend we posed for the camera, took the kids to a movie, ate out a couple times (in actual restaurants), spent some tokens playing games at "Ruckers", did some winter gear shopping,  met with our church on Sunday, and had a Thanksgiving lunch with a whole bunch of extended family.  

Lot's of little things that are a treat for us country bumpkins.  Camping in the city has it's non-camping perks. 

On Saturday afternoon, while seeking some warmer indoor activity, we ventured over to a First Nations "heritage visitor center".  There wasn't all that much happening on that particular day there, but we did learn how to construct a teepee.  

We happened to have our camera along for this outing.

This girl loves animals, even fake ones. 

It's actually fun (most of the time) to cram into our trailer, it reminds me of the adventures, road trips, and the many months we spent living in it in Mexico.  A little bit of cozy, chaotic nostalgia.

Riding through Target in style.  Replacing ripped, outgrown, and worn out snow pants, boots, and , mitts before the snow flies. 

One of my favorite parts of the weekend was eating at a very authentic Chinese restaurant.  It's like a portal to China.  Our food had just begun to arrive when my hubby snapped these phone pics, an hour later the table was pretty trashed.  We all sipped our green tea, while gorging ourselves on a variety of delicious food.  

I always thought I didn't care for Chinese food, because all I'd really experienced was the Canadianized version of it.   That's like saying you don't like Mexican after eating at Taco Bell. 

 It turns out I love real Chinese food.  Especially the spicy green beans.  I was considering flying all the way back to China to eat those again but I found them here (only an hour and a half from home).  

Lucky me. 

Despite the glum look in the picture Elijah was thrilled.  He was extremely happy to eat real food again.

He was also brave enough to say "Ni Hao" and "xie xie"  to the ladies bringing our food.  

Our other meals this weekend looked pretty much like this. 

We kept it simple.  Very simple. 

It turns out that this little weekend get away was just what we needed.   My hubby, after several weeks of harvest hours, was recharged and reacquainted with his family.  The kids enjoyed the time with Dad, and I enjoyed the time being away from home.  

Soli Deo Gloria,
Carla 

Simply Surviving

Every once in a while you hit a season in life when you are merely just surviving.  

There is no ability to achieve more than just the very basics of survival.  Anything above that seems completely impossible.

During those times of illness, or a brand new baby, or post adoption adjustment phase, or in my case an injury, priorities get stripped down, standards plummet to frightening new depths and we make it through one day at a time.

Some days better than others.

Some days I'm not so sure we'll make it.

Children remain in pajamas during the day, or wear clothes to bed.  

We've been eating either Kraft dinner (or some other kid made delicacy), or casseroles kindly made by friends.  The house looks like it was either ransacked by hungry criminals or hit by a natural disaster (Hurricane Cece).  The big kids are getting some school work done but my junior Kindergarten class consists of reading books, and counting fingers while they sit on my lap.  Tempers flare, sympathy runs out, and Frustration seems to have become the eighth member of the family.  

This past week I've been getting around more, and figuring out how to attempt to do more of my usual duties.  That has both some pros and cons. The pro is my kids hate me less, and the con is my body hates me more. 

We had a sick boy this past week too.  Thankfully my mom has been my hero, coming to pick up which ever child is the highest maintenance (Cece has spent a lot of time with Grandma and Grandpa lately).  She took Silas in to see the Doc. last week, and then he spent a few days being nursed at her house....like I said, anything extra is completely overwhelming.  Wheezer is back home again, and back to school today.  Allergy/ Asthma boy gets hit hard with chest colds sometimes.   

It makes me glad we've been as healthy as we have this year. 

We got a new snazzy piece of equipment last week.  It's been in the works and on order for a while so we were glad it was ready for pick up, especially since Mom can no longer carry, or lift. 

This chair is made by Rifton, the same company that built his bike.  These products are unbelievably well made.  You know how so many things (esp. kid equipment) in life are frustrating, difficult to adjust, and don't do what you think they are supposed to do, well these are surprisingly unusual.  Every piece is engineered by someone who actually understands special needs and cares about quality, it's all ridiculously easy to adjust (and EVERYTHING adjusts), and it's as smooth as can be.  

This is the chair that his OT and PT that us he needed. 

They managed to hook us up with one.  We love those ladies.

So thankful. 

I wasn't convinced we would need, or use it.   I was wrong. 

The motive for a decent seat for him to use in the house is mainly his support, independence, and posture. 

He is capable of sitting, but it takes more effort to stay that way for him than a typical child.  He slouches over, slumps to one side and sitting on a couch or something results in him being very uncomfortable.  He starts having muscle spasms in his back.

Anyway,  we've been able to use this seat for eating at the table, for sitting at the computer, for doing book work/ games/ puzzles/ ipad on his tray, sitting and watching cartoons.

The cool part about this chair (and the reason we have this specific one) is that it's height adjusts down to the floor and then with a pump of the foot can be quite high.  It's high enough for him to be up at my kitchen counter helping me bake and be able to see everything.

*I noticed after I took these pictures that someone had been doing some adjusting...the head rest was on backwards and the seat back was leaning forward a bit making him slouch more.  I adjusted it and his posture was much better.*

When he's comfortable, and not wasting a ton of effort just to sit properly, he's more likely to focus, learn, and stick with an activity. 

Our goal is, especially with the anticipation that he will continue to grow, is that he become more and more independently mobile (which requires some adaptive equipment).  I could physically (before I broke my ankle) lift him up and down off his booster chair at the table, but we want him to have something that he can safely get in and out of himself. 

Next month he has leg surgery scheduled and will be in casts for a couple months.  I know for a fact that during that time this chair will be a life saver. I can't imagine him being in leg casts for that long without a chair like this.  

Oh, another cool feature is the small wheels.  It's not a wheelchair or really meant for transportation, but it easily swivels and moves from one location to another.  I can move him from the computer to the kitchen table with ease.  

One silver lining of the last couple weeks has been this guy has had to do a lot more on his own.  There was a couple of rough transition days before he figured out that he was going to have to figure things out...mom wasn't swooping in to the rescue.  Mom needed to be incapable of helping him in order for him to learn to do some more things himself...because not helping is super hard.

I'm so proud of the progress he's made in just the last couple weeks.  Now I just need to remember not to undo it once I'm capable of "helping".  

So, that's what we're up to.

Not much.

Maintaining damage control, keeping kids alive, and trying to remember that this really is only a minor struggle and will end soon enough. 

In the grande scheme of things, Mommy being broken is really just a minor little bump in the road, or  maybe more like a curb at the edge of a parking spot. 

It has not been at all fun, but it could be worse.

Soli Deo Gloria,