My Own Little World

We turn off the news when we don't like what we see.
We plug our ears and close our eyes when life gets ugly.
Draw our lines.  Close our hearts.  Protect ourselves.
Shut people out.

If I open up my heart, love, listen, reach out....I have to set aside my own hurt and fear.
Thats hard.  The wounds go deep.
Living in a Land of Make Believe is easier.
My own little world is safer.
I choose who can enter...and who I will shut out.
Who is safe and who is not.
Who will allow  me to be blindly comfortable and who will take me face to face with reality.

I don't want to know that there are millions of children living unloved, unwanted and alone in the world.
I don't want to know that sin can take hold of any heart and destroy any family.
I don't want to know what kind of evil humans are capable of.
I don't want to see suffering and pain.
I don't want to know that babies die of starvation, while I complain my jeans are too old.

That kind of reality makes me want to crawl into bed and hide under my sheets.
Real life makes me tired.

I don't want to hurt.   I don't want to feel the pain of others.  I don't want to feel the heart of God breaking.
...but at the same time I do.

I want to feel the heart of God breaking in my chest.  I want to be His hand and feet.  I want to love like he loves.  I want to forgive like He forgives.
I want to plant my feet on the Solid Rock , stand tall and look reality in the eye,

but at the moment my spirit is curled up on that  Rock...and I need His strength to stand back up.

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