Rethinking Christmas

 I've been thinking a lot the last little while ,as we celebrate the Christmas season,  how overall  it makes me more uncomfortable than it used to.   While kids rip open gift after gift to add to their elaborate toy rooms on Christmas day thousands of other kids will die that same day of starvation and neglect.   Countless others are living in quiet desperation.  Not exactly a cheerful "Christmasy" thought.    We as Christians are celebrating the birth of Christ but if he were here would he be sipping cider and buying more video game systems to add to his collection?  I suspect he would he be sitting on the street corner next to the drug addict, weeping by the grave of a forgotten child, or wrapping his arms around the woman dying of AIDS.  

I love Christmas! I love the decorations, lights, our snow and frosty white trees.  I love the baking, eating treats the getting  together with friends and family.  I love Christmas trees and pretty wrapped presents. 

Even though I love a beautiful sparkley Christmas as much as anyone... I think much of  this season reflects the shiny glossed over unhappiness, apathy,  emptiness, and busyness that define our overindulged society.  Maybe that sounds cynical.  Sentimental once a year displays of shallow generosity in the name of the "spirit of Christmas" have little to do with the Spirit of Christ.  It is a paradox that I find difficult to reconcile.  

I re-read an old post yesterday that I wrote while contemplating how some friends of ours live their lives completely opposite to what our society strives for.   If I desire my kids to grow up to radically love and live 
like Christ then I must raise them in a radically different way than our culture raises kids.  Not as seclusionists but as a family with vastly different priorities.  If I want my kids to swim upstream I have to teach them how to do it by getting wet myself.   

Here is a little snippet from that post:

In our culture we think that if our kids don't have the trendiest clothes,  top of the line electronics,  a fairy-tale-worry-free childhood, and a schedule designed to give them every social  advantage in life, we are sacrificing them.   In Canada, we love our kids with stuff.   That is the standard of 'good parenting'.   We aspire that they  become adults that are "successful" in the worlds eyes.  We want them to be "happy".   This is us taking care of our first ministry.  Right?

Maybe not.  Maybe it's doing the opposite.

       I think in reality, when we aren't willing to give up our inner circle "quality of life", our possessions, our security, our pride, whatever we cling to,  it is because those things have become our passion.  Our idols.  We  tuck God neatly into the pocket of our Sunday suit.  We thank God for blessing us, throw him our tithe,  host a church dinner party, and ignore the rest of his call on our lives...whatever that might be.   We don't want to give up those things and  it breaks our hearts even more to allow our kids to struggle, to sacrifice, or to go without. 

   I know it does for me...

even though without struggle, sacrifice and discomfort character traits like compassion, generosity, empathy, courage, respect and true gratitude cannot develop (not to mention creativity, ingenuity, and imagination).  Those are what I want most for my children.  Those are the traits I want in my children as adults...whether they are successful in the eyes of the world or not.  

            If our children don't see us loving, serving , giving, or stepping beyond our own comfort into a life of faith, we steal from them the chance to see what a  big God we serve.  In our attempts to give them every "advantage" we  hobble them spiritually and stunt their ability to develop strength of character.

I don't know if this has always been intentional on our part.  We have gone, served, opened our home, given...but often felt guilty about it.  I have compared my kids to their brand name dressed peers. Wondered if my child's patched jeans will cause permanent psychological damage.  I have wondered if my child will suffer by living in a developing country and not being able to take ballet, gymnastics and soccer lessons for a  winter.  My children have given up their bedrooms at a moments notice, shared their toys, and shared their parents.    I have agonized over those things.  I have wondered if my children will grow up hating me for it. 

I think I am finally at the point in my life, and with enough parenting years under my belt, to see a glimpse of what God is doing in my kids hearts.  It is surprising, it is wonderful, it exactly what I have been trusting God for.   We are seeing fruit.   I have noticed this Christmas as we are home having a "normal" North American Christmas that my kids are unexpectedly acting anything but "normal".   I am witnessing subtle, unprovoked, uncohersed unselfishness during a season of rampant brattiness.  They have not once begged, obsessed about, whined for, demanded or expected anything particular for Christmas (and if you know my kids they lean toward obsessive personalities!).  This has shocked me.  Instead they have conspired, saved, made lists, and discussed among themselves what they are buying for each other and for others.  They have bought their second hand store treasures and carefully wrapped them.  I must admit Silas is completely obsessed with the containers of Christmas sweets in the deep freeze though.

Instead of circling pictures and combing through a Sears Wish Book...they have carefully looked through every charitable gift giving catalog we have received circling pictures of goats, and clean water wells.  They were thrilled to  shop for , fill and send away shoe boxes to kids who may have never received a gift in their lives.

They carefully chose gifts for their friends in Mexico.   They regularly talk about their favorite Christmas memories which include caroling in impoverished migrant field worker camps last year, giving away the toys in their own small toy bin.  I really didn't expect something  that most parents would shield their kids from  would win out over memories of past vacations and gifts.

 It is all the little, and big, things we do that teach our kids things that no well intentioned lecture will ever teach them.  It seems so insignificant at the time but God is building those moments into something he will use for his purpose.  

The world needs us to raise strong kids not safe kids.   One way of doing that is leading the way ourselves.  When we have a strong hope, a dangerous faith, and a significant purpose in life...our kids will see that.  It will be irresistible.  That's my theory.   Our example will have a greater impact than any legalistic rules, heavy handed hypocrisy, or self indulgent apathy coated in religion.  Actually the impact will be great either way.   Our kids will either learn to trust God or learn to despise him.  

I think doing ministry (loving, sacrificing, serving, reaching out) WITH our kids, as a family, is an incredible chance to give our kids every real advantage in life.  Once you lay those things down,  you'll realize the real blessing God gives us isn't in our possessions.  It's the indescribable joy His purpose in our life brings.  That's living a blessed life.  

I wonder as we celebrate this season of gluttony, self indulgence, entitlement, and wracking up credit card debt to give things to people that they don't need or appreciate.....

WHAT ARE WE TEACHING OUR KIDS?  

What  does our elite celebration  have to do with a shunned, teenage mother giving birth in a dark, cold cave?  Does it reflect the redemption of mankind in a beautiful, horrible, unexpected way?  

We (at least those of us who still remember that Christmas is about something more significant and sacred than a fat guy in a red suit) say we celebrate the birth of Jesus.  What does that mean to us?    December 25th is not Jesus technical birthday. It is a day set aside to celebrate the SIGNIFICANCE of his birth.   God's eternal plan for this world being set into motion on the night of his birth.  Hope, peace, joy, and redemption.    We have already been given a gift that all the brand name clothes, video game consoles, diamond jewelry and fruitcake can't ever compare too.   

That same young peasant woman who over 2000 years ago trusted , obeyed and gave birth to a baby also sung this:

"for the Mighty One has done great things for me-

holy is his name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him,

from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;

he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.

He has brought  down rulers from their thrones 

but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things

bu has sent the rich away empty."

  

Let us celebrate that which is worth celebrating. 

"Praise to the Lord

the God of Israel,

because he has come and has redeemed his people."

"because of the tender mercy of our God,

by which the rising sun will come to us from Heaven 

to shine on those living in darkness

and in the shadow of death,

to guide our feet into the path of peace."

"Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests"

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

We love Christmas!  

Last  year we missed out on most of  our usual family traditions and opted for a Mexican Christmas which included stringing lights up around our trailer, caroling in migrant work camps, and delicious traditional

 Mexican feats.  The year before, we spent 2 weeks in Washington state with family.   It's been two years since we had Christmas at home.

Fingers crossed that we will have Christmas at home this year (if you wonder why read the post below).

Just in case we aren't we decided to get the festivities started nice and early.

 Silas, who has very little recollection of any of our Canadian traditions, REALLY got into it.

My hubby and I basically stood back, snapped a few pictures and let the kids take over.

We received this nativity set this summer as a gift  from my sister in law Brook.  

It's hand made Mexican tin art.  Tacky, colorful, different.  We love it!

It looks so pretty with the twinkling Christmas tree lights next to it.  

Six stockings this year.  For some reason that number just feels right. 

We have a fake tree.  We bought it a few years ago and it's the most beautiful tree we've  ever had.  Remember, we live in the Canadian prairie where real ones are expensive and mostly pathetic.  We've had our share of Charlie Brown trees.

The kids are already begging to begin Christmas baking.  I'm not quite as excited as they are.  I do like to eat Christmas goodies though.    I can't even keep up with our normal baking right now  but I've started to compile a mental list of easy. nut-free, cinnamon free, egg-free treats.  That pretty much leaves out all of my favorites and any thing good.  I will need to be creative (and keep a secret stash out of reach of allergy boy).

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends.

More Christmas day.

Carmela and Ramiro. My little sweethearts.

Me (Tia Carla), Minerva and her mom. I was slouching down just to fit in the picture. I feel like a giant amazon woman next to them...and I'm only 5'7". It was nice to see mom (Italia) dressed up and looking happy for her children. She smiled and interacted with us as she graciously offered us food and watched her children open gifts. My compassion for her is growing.

I don't get to hug my girl everyday now that she has moved away from the chidren's home but I still plan on fitting in as many as possible. She was happy to the point of tears the whole time.

Minerva specifically requested that she get a picture with her Tio. She has been his biggest fan since we first arrived in Mexico. She enjoys her very big, very silly uncle.

My favorite part of Christmas Day

Later in the morning, after we were finished with our own gift opening and family time, we set out to vist our other kids.
They were expecting us and were all standing by the road waving when we pulled up. It was so cute. They were all dressed in their best clothes and their mom had even saved some dinner for us. Pazole con mole, y pollo. It was a "muy rico" meal for them and I felt very honored that they were sharing it with us. They had also bought a jug of Coca Cola to pour for us. It was one of those moments when I knew we would most likely be very ill should we recieve the gifts offered but at the same time we were very very grateful for the gesture. Awkward decision. We prayed silently for protection as we chugged coke from grimy cups and exclaimed that the meal was delicious.

Minerva and Alvaro had seen children open gifts while living at the childrens home so they knew what to do, but the three little ones just held their boxes and smiled. Aili ended up opening two year old Louisa's for her eventually (Inside was a big snuggly stuffed puppy and a little backpack). Ramiro just sat grinning from ear to ear holding his pretty box. It was so cute! It gave me a taste of what it must be like to distribute the Samaritans Purse christmas shoe boxes. SO rewarding to witness. Just look at that smile and he hasn't even opened it yet! He just sat there giggling.

One of the most remarkable things was how excited the children were for each other. Alvaro was oohing and aahing over his little sisters doll dresses and his big sisters scarf and purse. They were so happy for each other and will undoubtable share everything they recieved.

Most of these gifts came from "stockings" sent down to all the kids at the childrens home from a couple of churches. Since Minerva and Alvaro left just before recieving theirs we were able to deliver them the gifts. We had to send back the cloth bags( the gifts came in)so we decided to wrap the gifts up in boxes. The donors were so extremely generous that between the two stockings we were able to wrap up a box for all 5 kids. I added a few things from our own toy stash and it came out just right. I also bought and wrapped up a few more items of clothing for the kids and bought a gift for the mom.
There were a few more big gifts that came in the mail for Minerva and Alvaro from their other sponsers. After a lot of thought, and discussing it will some others at the orphanage, we decided to save the other gifts (unopened) until they have a house to put them in. It would have just been too much considering the neighborhood and the complete lack of space to store "stuff". It would have been appropriate to open that many gifts at the orphanage but out in this neighborhood it would have just set them up for problems.

They will be getting a new house built in February!! They will have beds, chairs, a table, a door, a floor, and a propane stove! Just the thought of them all being able to sleep out of the dirt makes my heart happy.
We initially had no idea how it was going to happen, but God has totally provided a way to have a 2 bedroom house built for them this winter through IDT. It is a house building organization. There is usually a long wait list but there was a cancellation. A group is coming to build a house and they need a family to build for. We will still be very much involved with the build and I'm looking forward to "outfitting " the house for them. We will need paint, blankets, sheets, furniture, dishes, cutlery...we will be doing some shopping at the local market for the items. I want their house to be homey and a little oasis of some beauty. Can you tell I'm VERY excited for them?

This is one of the gifts sent in the stockings by a donor. We have no idea who sent the gifts but I would love to thank them.

Every little girl deserves to feel like a princess. The Belle doll came with a little tube of body glitter. Her big sis explained, as she rubbed a little on Carmela's cheeks, that it was to make her sparkly like the doll. What a smile when she realized that she and her doll would both sparkle! The doll came with 3 extra dresses too. I told her she was as beautiful as a princessa. She just beemed me a huge smile and said "Si!" (Yes!). She felt beautiful. Something as simple as a princess doll. Every little girl I know has some sort of princess doll. Usually boxes full rarely touched and stuffed into a closet. The ornate beauty of the doll was such a stark contrast to the dirt and signs of misery all around it. I don't think there will ever be a Belle doll so appreciated though. No, she doesn't need "stuff" to be happy but every little girl deserves to feel special, loved and to imagine beauty and parties in a palace....and because of a thoughtful stranger she experienced that. :)

Present time!!

This year there was no piling the gifts under the Christmas tree ahead of time. In fact, there was no tree to pile them under. We stashed them in the car and pulled them out after the kids were asleep. I guess it's not completely true that we didn't have a Christmas tree. Can anyone see it? Its there among the pile of gifts.
We brought some things from home to give to the kids. I made a stop at the Parables book store before we left home and bought some books for the kids and a cd and book for Nathanael.
We also added a few little toys from the market here..
We were surprised at the gifts that they also got from Grandparents as well.
They had a very happy Christmas morning.

My best thought out gift....if I do say so myself.

I found this spiderman costume at "globos"( the outdoor market) in the middle a large pile of clothing.
SCORE.
It fits my spiderman obsessed little boy perfectly. He wore it ALL day. I had to pry it off today to wash it. I have a feeling it may be his new standard uniform for a while. Such a typical 3 year old thing. Little girls in princess dresses and little boys dressed as cowboys or spiderman.

Silas very much enjoyed the present opening time. He was so happy with every little thing he got...to the point of being obsessive. He has to have his new things in his sight or grasp at all times....even while sleeping. Its nice he appreciates them anyway :)

Game night in Casa 5

On Thursday evening we went to Casa 5 with everyones favorite game Pictureka, a box of Bionicle parts, and a few packages of microwave popcorn.

Victoria. We met her when we were here 4 years ago. She was in the nursery (cuna) then. Can you see the sparkle of mischief in her eyes? :)

Arnoldo enjoying playing with some bionicles.

Roman and Alex chowing down on popcorn. They are two peas in a pod. Not only do they match each other with energy and charm they even have matching ears. :) I guess they also share a love for popcorn, since these two ate most of the bowl!

More Christmas Eve

Sisters Julianna and Eloisa enjoying each others company. There is a decade of age difference between the girls but they are so close. Its so nice for little sister to have someone looking out for her and a relative to love her while they are both at the childrens home.

Some girls in Casa 4 looking beautiful for Christmas eve.

Alejandro and his new football.

Noche Buena

Here are a few pictures of our Christmas even festivities in Casa #4. Christmas Eve "Buena Noche" is the big event here. This is when they have their Christmas feast and open their gifts. They all dress in their best Christmas outfits and prepare for the event all day. We had the honor of being invited to join the kids in house 4 for the evening. The food was delicious. We felt so welcomed and included in the event.

A nina with her new baby. She was so cute! It came with a little bottle and she rocked and fed that baby like a little mama.

The house mother, her son and my hijos checking out Silas' new little soldiers. This house mom is the kindest most generous person I think I've ever met. She has some very serious and debilitating health problems of her own but she and her husband care for a house full of little ones. She never complains but always excudes peace and joy. Which is a complete phenominon to me with so many children to care for. She shows so much love toward each one of the children and has even found room in her heart to reach out and be an encouragment to me. I can always count on a big hug from her.

Our little Alejandro. We popped over to Casa 5 for a brief visit and to take our sponsor son his gift. He is new to the childrens home and I would strongly suspect this was his first Christmas surrounded by family, food and gifts. He was over the top excited. He reminds me so much of Roman , just bursting with enthusiasm and energy! He keeps his house parents on their toes I think. :) He is a sweetheart though and always has a huge smile for his Tia. Inside the bag is a Gold colored soccer ball and a Bionicle robot guy.

It was a late but very memorable evening.

On Christmas day we spent the afternoon in a third casa. House #1 invited us to share some more amazing food left from their Christmas Eve meal. It was SO good. We spent most of the afternoon visiting with them while the kids watched movies and played lego with the other kids there. I so enjoy being in the casa's and getting to know the kids and the "families" in each house. They have all been very welcoming to our family.

Feliz Navidad!

Just wanted to pop in to wish you all a very Merry Christmas.
We are enjoying the afternoon off of work and resting up for an evening of Buena Noche festivities with the kids in Casa 4(one of the homes for Children here). I'm looking forward to a traditional Mexican feast this evening. Supper will be late but it will be worth the wait I'm sure. Each of the 6 Casa's are hosting a Christmas Eve dinner. I'm tempted to see how much I can eat in one evening and just start Casa hopping. They are all preparing something different. Its a big event and they've been preparing and buying food all week. After supper all the kids here open their gifts and stay up late. I will take a gift for each of my kids to open tonight as well. We will save the others for morning. We need something to do tomorrow. I'm sure they will all be up at 6 am regardless of how late we are out tonight.

Tomorrow we are planning to go visit Minerva and Alvaro's family. We have some presents to give them and promised we'd stop in on Christmas day. We will probably visit and give some gifts to some other friends in a nearby town as well. It will be fun. Other than that our Christmas day will be spent phoning some family members and enjoying the gifts we were sent.

Buying and giving gifts this year is so rewarding and fun. Its really amazing to give when it is a very appreciated blessing to someone else....not merely just an obligation or a tradition.

This year Christmas has been different in so many ways already but so far I think this Christmas season has been the most memorable and special ones we have had. Its just been such a different focus for us.

I do miss sneaking butter tarts from the freezer and sitting around a fire with my family. I miss my moms baking and the savory Christmas evening spread of hor duerves. I did manage to score some pumpkin pie though and bought the kids some wafer cookies today. :) That will have to suffice for this years Christmas sweets. I'm sure there will be lots of delicious food tonight...just different delicious foods.

Have a very blessed and joyous Christmas day!