A Whining, "Paper Work " Pregnant, Nurse Mom.

or maybe a janitor.   Although I'm not feeling all that "super".

We have never in our lives been so chronically sick for so many weeks, which have now turned into months. 

We went from 3 weeks of horrific stomach bug, to a wheezing and coughing flu, and now back to having a toddler with raging diarrhea.   

I have a mom and a sister who are both nurses...but the job never appealed to me.   I don't like sick people. 

I think they're gross.  I would make a terrible nurse.   I have more compassion for my own children while they are spewing and squirting body fluids but after a couple days I'm pretty much done.   After 6 weeks I'm WAY past done.  

I just know you want to hear the poop story of the day, so I would hate to disappoint you.   If not, feel free to avert you eyes now and find something more pleasant to read.

We left for church this morning thrilled to be able to integrate back into society, after being sickly outcasts for the past month.   We had planned on meeting up with a couple of my younger sisters and their famlies for  a BBQ.  I really miss them and don't see them nearly often enough.  I spent time yesterday baking up some dessert, fixing a vegi tray, and generally getting really excited to sit around having girl talk with them.   One lives 5 hours away and the other one 2 hours....with all our busy lives we just don't meet up that often.   Our day didn't quite go as planned.

Once we arrived at church (which meets at a movie theatre)  I noticed that Cece was stinky.  I went and changed her noticing that she seemed a bit diarrhea-ish.   Just a little squirt though...quite likely even a shart.  I maintained my denial.   A few minutes later I noticed she stunk again so I scooped her up and walked to the bathroom not realizing that she was oozing out EVERYWHERE.  By the time I noticed that Hoover Damn had been breached it was too late.   It was all over me and her.   Nasty.    I stripped her n*ked in the theatre bathroom, mopped her up best I could with baby wipes and then just stuck her bottom in the sink.   Picture me at one of those irritating public bathroom sinks, barely big enough to squeeze a baby behind into.    The water ran for about 2 seconds with each button push.  Fortunately I always carry a spare outfit in the diaper bag.,...for her, not for me.   I threw my jacket and her clothes in a plastic bag and scrubbed my hands.   I cried just a little bit.  

I joined my husband, with sickly toddler in tow, inside the church service determined that this episode was NOT going to ruin my day.  After a few songs of her fussing and squirming (and not wanting to put her in children's church to infect everyone else)  we decided to pack it up and drive home.  That is a total of 3 hours of driving...for two songs at church....and the experience of destroying a public bathroom.  

We called my sister and told her we had to cancel.  I was worried that Cece would explode again before we got her home.  

I cried a little more.

I'm so done with this.  

I am supposed to start my new full time "job" Monday morning.   I have agreed to babysit a 2 and 4 year old all day , five days/ week starting tomorrow....which already makes me want to hyperventilate just a little bit.  We need the money for our newest adventure though.   It seemed like good timing when the mother of the children asked me if I 'd be willing to babysit in our home.   

 I don't think it's coincidence that the same month we  decided to step out in  faith, and move forward in drastic obedience toward a new adoption...we've faced an onslaught of problems, discouragement, drama,  relentless illness, and a huge portion of doubt.    If we can allow the thoughts of "What in the world are we thinking? We can barely survive the life we have now?  We are weak,  pathetic, and inadequate" to stop us.... we'll become distracted, paralyzed,  and derailed. 

I know God has a purpose for us, as well as for Burlando kid #5.   The enemy knows it too.    To quote Russell Moore and one of my favorite books "Adopted for Life"....adoption isn't charity it's spiritual warfare.  I suspect this is just the beginning.   It's going to take some tenacity, a lot of faith, and some strong armor.  

I know that it will have to be ALL God that pulls this one off.   Maybe we just needed a good dose of humility before we started the process to remind us of how small we actually are in this task.   

I guess this is kind of a strange way to announce that we are "paper work" pregnant but we could sure use you're prayers as we navigate this new world of International Adoption. 

 So much is still unknown, uncertain, and just in the beginning stages.   I promise I'll take you along on the ride with us...I'm sure it will be a wild one.