Introducing...

Introducing our newest treasure,

by God's grace, our 4th son.

"I will go before you and will level the mountains;
 I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.
 I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."  Isaiah 45:3

A child once locked away in dark places, behind bars and closed doors, is now treasured by his family across the ocean.  Always known by the Father, the One who formed him in his mothers womb and has been sovereign over every detail of his unfolding story.

"This is what the Lord says: 

In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you;

I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people,

to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances,

to say to the captives, 'Come out'.

and to those in darkness, 'Be free'"  Isaiah 49: 8-9

Now that this whole adoption process has a name and a sweet little face, we are over the moon thrilled.   We're  trusting that He who led us to this place, will be the One to sustain us as we learn to parent a child who will turn our lives upside down.  I have a feeling we will understand at a deeper level what God's love for us costs Him as we pour ourselves out to love a child who has known far too much suffering.  Oh, I ache to help carry that burden of healing with him...to bear it slung across my own shoulders.   I already do, I feel it as any mother feels the pain of her child, and grieves for their losses.  

I'm praying that the Holy Spirit would be near to him as he prepares for another uprooting.  There will be brighter days ahead, but change is never easy, especially for a child who has endured so much of it already. 

I don't know how to accurately describe the very wide spectrum of thoughts and emotions that flood my soul.  Joyful, excited, terrified, unworthy, inadequate, humbled, amazed, and so very much blessed.  

So absolutely brought low by the enormity of this priceless gift. 

So overwhelmingly thankful that I get to be his mama.

1 Samuel 1:27

Soli Deo gloria,

First Day of Kindergarten

Although it appears he is standing in front of a firing squad, he is actually just stopping for a "mom needs a picture of you on your first day of school" photo.

His nerves were in high gear this morning.   He dressed in his trusty, comfortable familiar clothes (no new first day of school duds for this boy...no way, that's just too much craziness).   Put on his favorite jacket and pulled the hood up for extra protection.  He asked and asked again if I had all his new school supplies packed in his back pack....and his new Star Wars lunch box.  

This boy has been looking forward to this day for many months.

"Can you smile Silas??"

....oh, ok.  That's alright...don't bother smiling.

We'll have to work on that before school picture day!

Can't you just see all the scenarios and possibilities running through his little brain?

Will he do it folks?

Yes!  He did.

He marched right onto that bus and didn't look back.

I spent the day hoping I wouldn't get a phone call that he was looking like a red blow fish (he has anaphylactic allergies) or that he was doing some sort of stripper dance on top off a desk (don't ask)....

happy to report that my child didn't act like a freak, at least not enough of one to require a phone call.  

His only complaint about the day was that I need to pack him a bigger lunch next time.   When I teasingly asked him if he missed me,  he said

"Not at all.  I actually forgot all about you"

Just what I had hoped.....sort of.   I'll take it.  

Autumn

It's that time of year again, 

and this is my ride.  

My boys heading out.

Roman goes along for the ride, watching and learning.

The view from the cabin I will spend many hours in this season.   Not a very impressive view in this field, the hail got to the peas before we did.   This week I think I'll be cutting down wheat so it should be a little prettier. 

 I enjoy the peace, quiet and solitude of a tractor cab and an ipod playing all my favorite preachers.  Last week I listened to the whole Gospel Coalition  2012 Woman's conference.  I also loaded up with Matt Chandler, Mark Driscoll, Murray Mclellan, Russell Moore, Tullian, Craig Groeschel,  and David Platt.  I don't get a lot of laundry, garden and house work done while I drive back and forth with a Combine but it's a nice change from normal life.  Lots of time to think, imagine, pray, and learn.

I also enjoy watching nature as I spend a day in the field.  There are always rabbits, foxes, and coyotes scampering away, as well as Hawks that circle about the tractor waiting for little mice to scurry out of their hiding places.  The other day I watched a doe with her two fawns wander across the field, and a hawk swoop down after a rabbit that jumped out of a swath....I'm happy to report the little bunny got away.

This week was a busy one but it was also super exciting!

秋

This Ch*nese character Qiu (pronounced something like Cho) means Autumn/ fall/ harvest.
It also has another very special significance to us   It happens to be the name of the child we were matched with last week!     He was given this name most likely because he was found by the side of a road five years ago this month, in Autumn.   He was abandoned in Autumn and he was found by his forever family in Autumn.   God writes great stories!  Stay tune for more on this one.

Leeland, Nail polish and Birthday Cake

11 years ago I gave became a mom to my first daughter.   Somewhere between cutting baby teeth and getting braces she's morphed from a pig tailed little elf into a full fledged adolescent.   

As an early birthday celebration we took our two oldest kids, and Aili's friend to a Leeland concert and her friend was able to stay the weekend.  

The girls admiring their new concert shirts.

...and making friendship bracelets with plastic string.

deja-vu

wow, I remember doing exactly that at her age.

Having a daughter this age gives me so many flash backs to my own past life as an 11 year old girl.  It's trippy. 

Her new Auntie from Haiti gave her some braids.  Excellent.  This girl hates having her hair brushed so getting it done once for a week or two is perfect.

On the actual day of her birthday we did just a small family party.  We all ate cake and icecream.  

She has enough nail polish and lip gloss to last for years. 

Which is a good thing because little sister is a hard core girly girl princess who loves having her nails painted.

So thankful for this girl who is growing into a young woman.  She is still a quirky bundle of creative, scattered, energy full of big dreams and big ideas.  

Every Single Stone will Fall

When we started our adoption process, we knew that it was impossible for us in every way.   We knew it would test our faith, resolve and endurance like no experience ever has.   Even then, we had no idea what we would face along the way.   We kept trusting as we put one foot in front of the other squinting ahead to catch a glimpse of the Promise.   For so many months all we've seen is blowing sand, but the Lord has been faithful as we cling to Him.

"be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go" Joshua 1:9

We now stand at the edge and wait.

Ahead of us I see the Promised Land, behind us the fierce desert...but directly in our path the towering Wall.   The Wall that has looms between us and the Promise, that has threatened to send us back where we came from,  but it is going to fall.   Not because of anything we have done, or can do, or will do...but because our God is mighty and He will be glorified.  

It will be spectacular!

"But Joshua had commanded the people, "Do not give a war cry, do not raise your voices, do not say a word until the day I tell you to shout.  Then SHOUT!" Joshua 6:10

...and shout we will!  From the rooftops!

"in a week it's crazy how everything can change"

So as we cry out to Yahweh, and watch in awe at his deliverance, we know that we have not walked one step of this journey alone.

"In the time of my favor I will answer you, 
and in the day of salvation I will help you.
I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people,
to restore the land
and to reassign its desolate inheritances,
to say to the captives, 'Come out',
and to those in darkness, Be free!"   Isaiah49:8-9


"But this is what the Lord says:
Yes captives will be taken from warriors, 
and plunder retrieved from the fierce,
I will contend with those who contend with you,
and you children I will save".  Isaiah 49:25

My Last Day with 2 Kids

This week I have only had two children at home.  My "Bigs" are away at camp for the week, so it's just me and the "Littles" hanging out.   My Hubster is also away from home until late at night so it's just been the three of us.   What a change that is! 

It's been an easy week...less laundry, less dishes, no real meals made (unless popcorn counts), less noise, less bodies banging around the house.   

I miss my oldest kids though...I'm so not used to them being somewhere else, with no contact for a week! 

Here is a sampling of our last day with just the three of us:

The above photo was taken when we were taking a walk down to pick up the mail.   Little Miss Cece decided she was going to throw a fit (I have no idea why).  She decided to just sit in the middle of the road.  So I did what any good mom does...I took a picture, and watched her with amusement as she contemplated the threat of being left behind sitting in the road.  Fortunately she is more dramatic than she is strong willed.  

We made another batch of buns so we have plenty in the freezer for Daddy's sandwiches that he takes to the field during harvest.

Silas showing off his triple layer start shaped loaf.

My little helpers.   Celina said she was making pizza for "gampa"

Cece running to comfort Silas after he did a nose dive into the coffee table.  She has such a tender heart, and so much natural empathy.  She loves to look after (mother) all her older siblings.  It's pretty cute. 

We did some climbing..

playing...

and digging...

 Then we took the carrots that we dug up and combined them with some mangoes and peaches.

We shoved them all into our juicer made some yummy juice.  Silas named today's concoction "Super Sunshine"

The finished juice (which more resembled a smoothie) on the left, and the pulp on the right which will be made into carrot/ fruit muffins.  

mmmm....it tasted like it should have a little umbrella on the top.

It's been so nice to have some special time with just my Littles...who get a little less little every day. 

Family Day

We managed to sneak in another lake day today....even though Harvest has begun.  Things aren't quite in full swing yet so we had a day to have some fun.  Even after just a week of Daddy working long harvest hours the kids were glad to have his attention again.

Our little sailboat (Tanzer 22) is parked at a lake about  1 1/2 hrs away, so that's were we decided to go spend the day in the sunshine.  Unfortunately  (for the sailors in the family) there was no wind.  I was happy just to beach the boat and let with kids play.  

We tried the sails for a bit and let the kids take turns getting pulled behind the boat in the life ring.  Like I've said before, my kids are easily entertained.

Silas is usually a little nervous at first but he was mister brave in no time.

It was such a beautiful day, and the lake was so quiet and gorgeous.   It was so peaceful.

We're not only soaking up the last bit of summer weather but the last bit of family time as well.  The next month will be a busy one. 

When I stopped to think about it, it's been quite a while since we did something fun, with just the 6 of us.  Just our crew.  

It really was just what I needed.  It's been a stressful week, on the adoption front, and somehow that translated into things falling apart between me and the kids.  I have been so preoccupied with the child I don't yet have in my home that I've been pretty good at being unpleasant to the children I do have in my home, and they responded by being little beasts right back.    Anyway by the end of the week, we were having trouble liking one another, never mind actually enjoying each other's company.   I love how days like this remind me how much I love being a mom,  how much I love my kids....and even how much I even like being with them.