Being Two

A day in the life of a raging two year old

6.15 am - Wakeup - I want my mommy, my sippy cup and my toys and then life will be good "MOMMY!!! MORNIN!"
I don't know why mommy is so grumbly ...she seemed fine a couple hours ago when I woke her up the first time.... the sun is up and so am I.

Whats that? my diaper is dry?...that must be why my tummy feels funny. "NO PEEE! " I don't want to pee, I don't need to pee. I will not sit on that potty. In fact I don't want my cozy pajamas taken off. This calls for a full out fight for my life and my dignity tantrum.

life is not good anymore. I can't believe I caved , I was betrayed by my bladder.

I will make her pay.

hmmmmm,
"MOMMY..PEE ON FLOOR"

wow, I'm not the only one who can throw a tantrum. Moms pretty good at them too.

I don't want breakfast...only milk please.....I said "NO WANT FOOD!"
Just me and my milk , life is good.

Uh-oh all gone, life is not good anymore. NO I will not get dressed! NO I do not want to wear underwear!
Please don't make me take off my sleepers! BAH! I hate change...this is devastating me! I hate clothes! I will never get over this injustice.

Ok, I'm over it now. And mom hasn't noticed I am once again naked..haha.

Ooohh I see my tractors. vroooom, vrooom, vrooom, pooop , pooop, uh - oh. Moms not gonna like this one. yucky. hmmmm. This pillow will cover it up nicely. No one will ever know. vrooom, vrooom, vrooom.

Oh, wow moms throwing another tantrum. You really should have your carpet cleaned mom.

Bake? You bet I want to bake! I love to bake! What I love even more than baking is making a mess. mess. mess mess ....ooh I love to mess.
Flour is the best! Look at my hands mom! ....uh - mom...I hate my dirty hands!! I like your diry floor though, that bowl full of flour looks good on your floor...even better squished in my toes! Why am I getting sent away? But I love to bake! Waaaaaaahhhhh

Mommy I need a snuggle....oh I love my mommy.

Lets go for a walk mommy. I love spring! I love outside! My hat , my boots, my jacket. I want to run mommy lets go!
WOWEEE WOW WOW I see rocks! Look mommy I can put the rocks in my hat. And dead leaves....LOOK mommy I see dead leaves! ooohh crunchy in my hair . LOOK I see a motorcycle in that yard.....RUN RUN RUN!

YOU CAN'T CATCH ME! I'M GOING TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE! HAHA I'M FREE!

Bahhh, she cought me.

waaahh I never get to do anything fun! All I wanted to do is ride a motorcycle.

I'm tired. This road is pretty comfy I think I'll just rest here a while.....ooohh bugs. I like bugs.

NO I WANT TO LAY IN THE ROAD!!!!!! You can't make me walk....haha I'm jello, squishy slidy jello and jello boys don't walk.

Baaah!

I don't want to go in the house....I thought we were going for a walk!

I want DADDY! I want to work with Daddy. Why is Daddy driving the tractor without me. I'm stuck at home with mommy who doesn't let me have any fun.

Oh lunch time...I like lunch time....but I don't like that! I hate soup. I don't want toast.. Why can't I have icecream? I know I liked the same soup yesterday but I hate it right now!

I wonder why mom keeps looking at her watch. I saw that smile. Why is she smiling? NAPTIME?!!
oh ok, I' m tired I don't have it in me to fight you about the nap. I want my bear bear and my milk though. NO DIAPER!! I've been wearing big boy underwear all day and have only had 5 accidents...why would I need a diaper?! Oh, the humiliation. mmmm I like milk.


zzzzzz


What happened? Where's my mommy? Is it Morning yet? "MOMMMMM" All done nap. C'mon bear bear, c'mon lamby, c'mon buggy lets go play.

I love my mommy, so snuggly. I wish she could carry me all day.
I will even pee on the potty for you mommy. I like when she does the happy peepee dance. She looks ridiculous but at least I get a piece of candy out of the deal. mmm, I like the yellow ones.

Do I want a cookie? Of course I don't want a cookie..how dare you ask me such a thing ."NO COOKIE!" oh, wait a minute what did I just say. I love cookies, my mommy makes the best cookies. "I WANT COOKIE PLEASE!!!" Why does she look so exasperated all I asked for was a cookie....mothers are so fickel sometimes.

Oh yipee yipeee Aili and Roman are home from school. AIVEE ! MAMO! I love Aili and Roman.

I bet it would be really funny if I ran up and hit Roman with this toy....oh thats just too funny.

Why is no one else laughing?

I don't want a time out....sorry sorry sorry. waaahhh. I hate time outs. what a waste of my childhood! tic toc tic toc...maybe if I just slowly scoot across the floor she won't notice. oh man she's got eyes in the back of her head. tic toc tic toc......

bzzzzzz. oh theres the buzzer. I'm a free man...freedom is sweet.


I have to pee again ..... I don't want to pee on the potty.

I think I'd rather just pee here on the floor that way I don't have to leave my toys. I'm a genious. Now for the sweet reward.

What do you mean I don't get a candy for peeing on the floor? I get one for peeing in the potty so I think its ony fair that as long as there is pee invovled I get my piece of candy!!! I WANT CANDY! hmmm she seems to be ignoring my tantrum ...I hate that, mommy is one tough cookie.

I like to be naked, naked is good. la-la-la I can see my toes and my tummy and this other thing that is so much to play with. I'm free, free free!

I want to watch tv. I love tv. I like Diego and Mickey Mouse but I still don't understand why I can't sit on the couch naked.

Yahooo DAddies home! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

I love my Daddy! I want to wrestle, and play and climb on him.
life is good when Daddy gets home!

Naked again, I like to be naked. No more pants, no more shirt, no more undies. I'm free to be me!

I still don't understand why I can't sit at the dinner table naked. These people have too many rules. I'll show them. oh ,oops was that my plate? It now appears to be on the floor. What a shame.

Waaahhh I hate timeouts! Not another one.... these people just don't learn.

Bath time. I love bathtime. I don't want my clothes off though. I love my clothes! I like to bath in my clothes. Oh, the injustice, the indignity of it all! WAAAH!

hmm, I wonder why mommy is turning that funny shade of red...and taking those wierd deep breaths. That lady really over reacts to things.

Goodnight. I have my fuzzy jammies back on and I'm ready for bed. You have to catch me first though.. I'm pretty fast. giggle, giggle, giggle.


Night night, Thankyou God for another day. zzzzz