5/26/10

I will carry you

10 years ago, I became a mother.
It has been whole decade since I had the privaledge of carrying and holding my son.

This past year a song was written in honor of a mother who chose to carry her child, even knowing that the baby would not survive.
When I carried my son, I had never heard of such a thing.
There were no blogs with pretty pictures describing what to expect.
I was barely past childhood myself and I was faced with grief no one expects, and no one would want.
....but it was part of a bigger plan.
He had a purpose that in my sadness I could not see.

"I will carry you,
while your heart beats here.
Long beyond the empty cradle
through the coming years."

I vowed to carry my son as long as his heart was beating.
What I didn't realize was...
I will carry him as long as my own heart beats.
...and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Such a short time, such a long road"

Happy 10th Birthday in Heaven my sweet boy.

4 comments:

We Are Family said...

Very touching. I can't begin to imagine your pain but I can say a prayer for your comfort and peace. Blessings until you hold your son again.

Shay said...

thank you for sharing your heart. <3

Sharleen said...

Happy 10th heavenly birthday Samuel. Thinking of you today,Carla.

Lena said...

Hi Carla, thanks for stopping by my blog- your words really made me smile! You are right I do get what it's like to hand over your heart- it's so nice to meet others like you who get it because many don't.

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, grief and loss is so hard. I cannot say completely get it- I had ten miscarriages before deciding to adopt... and it's something I still grieve over. I wonder if I will ever truly get over it.

Thanks for commenting- otherwise I would have never met you! I am definitely going to continue to follow your journey!

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