Actively waiting

Learning to wait with patient endurance seems to be a recurring theme in our lives, but our adoptions have pushed us into a whole new stratosphere of learning to wait

 (or maybe just into a new level of obsessive psychosis) 

I should start by saying, I naturally suck at waiting.  I'm a go for it, get it done kind of person.

Waiting and being forced to be still when all I want to do is sprint is sometimes a bit crazy making.  I am learning though...

There is some progress being made in both our foster adoption and our Ch*na adoption, albeit seemingly slow progress (by my clock anyway).   I know that our God is never late though.  His timing and perspective is so far beyond my own narrow little agenda.  

So while we wait for files to move, for court dates to be set, for a Dossier to go to Ch*na...

we prepare.  

We're preparing for the child that we trust God will bring to us.  We are preparing to raise an older child who may come with various physical, behavioral, and emotional special needs (by reading every book and blog on attachment/bonding, therapeutic parenting, and adoption I can get my hands on.)

Although we are still waiting for our referral, and our preparation will be much more focused at that time, it does feel great to get a few things done.  To feel like this is actually happening.

We have a grubby little man cave room in our  basement.   It is a utility room/ storage room/ man junk dumping sight room.   We decided in order to make more space in the upstairs bedrooms (3) we needed to create another bedroom for our oldest son who is very eager to have a little space of his own.     After a few trips to the dump...my husband began framing a small bedroom and the rest will stay a utility room.   We are doing it on the cheap...fortunately our son isn't at all picky and likes a "rustic" look.

The finished product will be fun.  A "man cave" for our biggest little man.  

Another part of waiting and preparation has included scrounging money any way we can.  

We are selling our 2003 Expedition (still for sale)....we bought a used 12 passenger van a few months ago (another way we're preparing and making room)

We sold our Thule (that was only a few months old and only used on our last trip to Mexico)

and the hardest thing to part with....

The Hobiecat.

You can see pics of it flying up in the corner of my blog header.

My husbands baby has been a part of our family for several years now.  He fixed her up and enjoyed many summers of sailing it.   However, even before we began our adoption process, he felt he just couldn't justify the alone time he needed to keep up with his hobbie.  Our summers are too short and our family is too large.  

I was so proud of him, although a bit sad, when he volunteered to sell his Hobie to help fund the adoption.   

"It's just a thing, people are more important"

I could hardly watch as someone came and picked it up (what was worse is the person wasn't very nice)....but we joyfully added a few more thousand dollars to the adoption fund.  We were able to sell the fixed up version for more than we paid for it originally. 

We trust in God to provide for this adoption in whatever way He sees fit, but that doesn't mean we will be exempt from sacrifice ourselves.   If we are recipients of the most sacrificial love, how can we be unwilling to live sacrificially in order to love?

We consider it a privilege to be a part of what God's doing...even just in this small way. 

"Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favour that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God's grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures. The Holy Spirit makes this happen through faith. Because of it, you freely, willingly and joyfully do good to everyone, serve everyone, suffer all kinds of things, love and praise the God who has shown you such grace. "

Martin Luther

{a final goodbye}

So as we wait we are not passive....we prepare, we trust, we pray, and we persevere.

Patient endurance is active.  It's persevering. 

I must admit I didn't realize  the level of utter resolve an Int. adoption takes.  

Not only do I have to battle my own selfishness, apathy and laziness...we have to battle a world system that is mostly opposed to (and entirely suspicious of)  adoption...and makes it as difficult as possible.   We battle doubts, fears, discouragement, opposition, criticism, financial mountains and impossible situations....but we know that we do not battle this alone, in fact we are entirely dependent on His grace for each moment...and we consider it all joy.  

Our eyes are set unwavering upon the work of Christ, as we journey the course that has been set for us, and open our hearts to the child that He will choose for us.  

"Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil, cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves.  Never by lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  Romans 12:9-12

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.  For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins"  Col.  1: 10-14