6/11/09

Confessions of a Mediocre Mom

As I blog hopped recently, I noticed I began to feel more and more inferior as I looked into the lives of other moms. I try to soak up all the information, tips, and tidbits from women who provide encouragement to strive for better . We need that. I need that.  I need to learn and grow as a mother but sometimes it leaves me feeling more frustrated than encouraged. 


I wonder if sometimes I give off the same impression of the perfect family, the perfect kids, the perfectly balanced nutritional meals.  Some of you who know me are laughing already.  I couldn't fool you could I? As much as I'd like to appear like a "Super Mom" that just wouldn't be the truth!

I try to be as candid and real as possible when I blog but I also have the luxury of choosing what I talk about and what I don't (some things just shouldn't be shared or vented).  Honestly, some things are just not the image I want to portray.  I get to sort through all the pictures of my kids looking like mutants to find the cute ones. So, on some level there is a facade...I get to choose what it looks like.

In an attempt to give all you blog hoppers out there reassurance that there are still less than perfect moms out here in blog world I will confess some of the things that make me an utterly mediocre mom.

1. I'm currently sitting at the computer instead of scrubbing toilets or making my house and myself lovely looking before my husband arrives home.

2. I wear sweats (more like yoga style pants...I don't do elastic bottomed sweat pants..even I have standards) and a pony tail most everyday.

3. I let my 2 year old watch too much tv.

4. I have let my kids go to bed fully dressed before... secretly pleased that it will save one step in the morning.

5. I have gone to bed fully dressed before ...pleased that I can wake up and go about my day without ever having to change (hey when your day clothes closely resemble your night ones its not that big a deal)

6. My kids bath or shower twice a week max. Every evening is ridiculous and frankly I don't have the time or patience for it. (have you seen how thick my daughters hair is!!)

7. My kids know what a Happy Meal is and even enjoy one on occasion.

8. I bribe my 2 year old to use the potty with things like marshmallows, jujubes or smarties.

9. I don't sew...I take the kids clothes to my mom to mend. Thanks mom, no one can patch jeans like you.

10. I sometimes go into "ugly mom" mode when I've lost all patience....its that moment when I realize that I am closely approaching the maturity of the child I am dealing with.

11. I teach my boys to pee in the back yard so they don't have to come back in the house (I'm a farm girl....that's how it rolls out here.)

12. I mentally count down the last couple hours until the kids go to bed....my favorite part of the day. Yep , I said it . My kids are more beautiful when they are sound asleep.

13. I let my kids leave the house in mismatched socks.

14. I never make pancakes for breakfast...pancakes are an actual meal at our house. Cereal can be dinner in a pinch too.

15. My daughter knows the Hannah Montana theme song by heart....and sings it a lot..actually I probably know it now too.

16. I don't cook for my family on Sunday's. I believe that big Sunday dinners should be left behind with the last generation. Mom's deserve a day of rest too...popcorn, toast and left overs is what you'll find at our house on Sunday's.

17. I let my 8 year old do her own hair on school mornings even though she leaves the house looking like...well..an eight year old did her hair.

18. I leave baskets of unfolded clean laundry on the couch for days at a time. It really is rather convenient when it comes to getting everyone dressed in the morning...everything is right there.

19. I throw away my kids school papers they bring home (shhh don't tell them) They bring home so much stuff! I oooh and aww and then when they aren't looking into the trash it goes.

20. I have no idea what I am going to make for supper tonight but I'd better figure it out quick because its going to get squeezed in between 4-h "achievement day" and soccer practice.


Well that's a pretty long list of self deprecating confessions. Now I'm starting to feel guilty.  That's the pitfall of motherhood...mothers guilt!  Are we doing it right? Are we making the right choices? Are we being too lazy? So many people have so many opinions on everything.  How we school our kids, what we feed them, how we train them up, what entertainment to allow, how to discipline, what a daily schedule should look like...even how many kids we should have.  



Its so easy to question everything we do or decide for our kids. I think that's just a curse of motherhood...always second guessing. While sometimes its constructive, most of the time it just needs to be shut down and not allowed to take hold in our hearts. As long as we are always striving to grow in wisdom as parents, know our kids better, and know what works for our family I think that we need to move ahead in confidence with the little souls we've been entrusted with.
As long as I stay sensitive to the ebb and flow of life and the needs of my kids (needing more discipline, more encouragement, more training, more one on one time) then I think I can trust my mothers intuition. The rest doesn't matter so much....at least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself. I'm sure I'm not alone in my mediocrity anyway. :)

What are your most mediocre mom (or Dad) confessions? I'd love to hear them.

18 comments:

Rebecca M said...

Ha! I love your list!

And hold on, now- NO mommy guilt allowed! You know what your priorities are, and you know why they are what they are. God's Word is the only standard we need for parenting, right?

Comparing our lives to others is one of my pitfalls too...

Hmmm my confessions? They resemble yours for sure- especially the laundry! Oh and we definitely don't bathe anybody very often- once a week, maybe? Oh and snacks. I hate getting snacks ready for the kids. Even when I know that some of them really need one... and I need one... I still don't like to get them. It's just one more meal to prepare! There you go- my mediocre mom confessions for the day.

Grandpa Steve said...

Keep on being Honest and discreetly open.

My kids are over 30 and I am over 55 so I can't remember any guilty parent moments....and I'm sticking to that story!

carrie church said...

Check, check, check, check....your list and mine are so similar. I love your honesty and authenticity, thanks for celebrating reality, not the facade we often try and keep up.

Susan and Michael said...

Just wanted to stop by to say thanks for reading my blog. After reading your list I see that we have a lot in common :) Thanks for sharing.

Susan Brewer (Allie's mommy)

Jobina said...

I love your list! I'll have to think more about my own additions though, a lot of ours are the same!

Heather said...

I just spent my ENTIRE day (and most of yesterday) sifting through all the "April Rose" hoax stuff. I was so preoccupied with it that in Dillon's desperate attempt to get my attention he fell over and cut his eye open a bit.

Holly said...

Stopping by from Lynnette's...
I like your list of just being mediocre. I consider myself mediocre too. Some of the things I do is leave laundry in the dryer or the basket for a couple days before I finally get around to folding it, I try to sweep my house every couple days but some weeks that just ain't happening, I just dusted my house and I hadn't done it in about a month, I spend WAY too much time on the computer, our kitchen table isn't used for eating and it's not even in the kitchen-we just lay stuff all over it and it's technically in our living room. Now, some of those things may not seem like a big deal but I grew up in w/ a cleaning Nazi for a mom and she would totally freak if she knew I did those things. lol Sorry, mom!

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

O.K...I can relate to almost everything on your list, girl! Thank you for sharing your mediocrity that we mediocres may feel a little less alone. Laundry that waits to be folded for days, check. Pancakes for supper, check. Occasionaly ugly mom, check. Too much time on the computer, check. Mismatched socks...I can one-up you on that one. Check out my last Not Me Monday...my son once went to school without his shoes. Oh yeah...bet you didn't even know that was possible! =) Don't sew, check. Hannah Montana, check - and I have 2 boys! Happy Meal, check. Sweat pants (without elastic of course!) check. Too much TV, check. And, I certainly could go on...but I won't. So grateful for God's grace aren't you?

Thanks for sharing your honest heart...and congrats on being featured on Lynette's Getting to Know You!

Blessings,
Kelly Gerken
Sufficient Grace Ministries

September said...

Carla..

I love your post on Motherhood! It is so on target for all of us..Stopping on over from Lynnette's today-and plan to stop by more now that we have "met!"
I am so glad that Lynnette chose you to be featured today... keep being honest,,, that's what our children need to see too!
I will be thinking of you today when I throw all of the socks from the dryer into our TWO huge sock baskets,,, we don't fold socks here!

B Kluver said...

This was great! We are all only human. Your house sounds very much like my daughter's house so I would feel right at home. :)

Could you tell me how you put music on your blog? I really like that and would like to add some to mine. Do you have to get permission to use someone's song?

Tina said...

So true. so true. I actually had to tell one of my online friends...........that I didn't have a "perfect life." {she was clearly mistaken} I was just an average mom like everyone else that has THINGS I'd rather not talk about. Geez, I don't want to air all my dirty laundry on my blog.... who does? hehe

Kathryn @ Expectant Hearts said...

Popping over from Lynnettte's blog. I LOVE this post! I have similar confessions.. In my case, we've had an extremely rough year and so I think people "excuse" my "shortcuts". What they don't know is with the exception of laundry (currently piled in BIG rubber maid totes in the living room.. Or the kids just wear dirty clothes - I used to keep up with it better), this is all stuff I do anyway..

We have popcorn and apple slices w/pb for dinner on nights when daddy's working and I just can't pull it together. I"m embarassed to admit how OFTEN I count hours till bedtime. My kids get bathed about twice a week, etc. LOVE IT!

Thank you for sharing!!!

Shark Bait said...

You've got to pick your battles, and save your energy for the ones that matter.

I believe the best thing you can give your children is a happy, relaxed Mother, and if that involves letting them pee in the yard and do their own hair, so be it.

<`SB><

Unknown said...

I agree with Shark Bait! Carla, this post was priceless! When I read it I KNEW I had to share it with the rest of my chums. :)

I hope you enjoy your day in the spotlight! You deserve it - even if you are a mediocre mom! hee hee (I'm right there with you!)

Lynnette

Lisa said...

Oh I loved this post! I too begin to feel so inferior as wife, mom and grandma when I spend some time reading the posts of so many other wives, mommies and grandmas, and yet I truly enjoy all of these ladies and their Blogs. THANK YOU for your honesty and for a good laugh!

Janet Benlien Reeves said...

This post is great. Thanks for reminding me of those crazy little one circus days. When my oldest was little, my mom would head straight to the kitchen to do dishes whenever she visited. She knew what I would neglect. I don't have that excuse anymore, but sometimes they still get away from me just the same.

Happy Getting to Know You Day!

Shayla said...

This is an awesome Post!

Thanks for being so real :-D

Marcy Payne said...

I can't believe I haven't posted a comment on this!!!

Oh, can I relate. Maybe not the Hannah Montana one, but Barney for SURE :-)

The rest of them? Oh my. I will confess I used to be a "farm" (acerage) mom and let my kids pee out in the bushes...then I moved to town, got paranoid, Stopped letting the boy pee in the bushes, started toilet training another boy and let him pee in my town bushes. Just don't tell the neighbors...or the playground peeps...I let him pee there too. It's just too far to the bathroom when you are a boy with a convenient little thing to whip out. Oh the confession! Now I feel better. Kind of.

So yes, I am also very mediocre. Does that make me exceptional in my mediocrity?

I am totally on a rant. Long day.