Just Life

Here is a picture of me and my kids...at least they were all my kids last Sunday.

Roman spends A LOT of time on his bike. What a life he has here!

Playing bottle caps with one of the boys. Roman is now obsessed with his budding collection of professional wrestler tokens. He keeps loosing them to the other boys though since they play "keepsies".

Silas playing Rescue Heros with another little boy.

In the last post I wrote a lot about this past week of life here. I must admit the elation and excitement of the first couple weeks wore a little thin this past week. I remember this happening last time we came after about two weeks it started to feel like a camping trip gone horribly wrong...then in time it began to feel like home. This time has been a lot easier because it felt like home the moment we arrived, I haven't even minded living in the trailer. Even with that head start my attitude became less than enthusiastic as I nursed and entertained sick kids in a confined space. Even before our illnesses I was starting to struggle with that feeling of isolation and uselessness here. I think that is one of my biggest struggles that I battle with living here. There are SO many jobs and ministries that I would love to be more involved in. I realize though that for now my job is my 3 children. They are my first ministry. After that comes relationship building with the other children here. Its a slow process sometimes frustrated by my limited verbal skills. Patience and contentment was in shorter supply this past week and discouragement seemed to creep in. I really do appreciate the freedom that not being in a full time staff position offers me. My husband is working full time and putting his carpentry and building skills to good use. I need to just enjoy, relax and take full advantage of every oppurtunity God brings accross my path.

Last night I tucked my kids into bed at 7 pm and went out for a walk. It was a dark, calm and clear night...and I REALLY needed to get out. The palm trees were gorgeous sillueted against the starry sky. I walked and then sat quietly and soaked it all in. I listened to the crickets, the distant barking of dogs and then to that still small voice that is so easy to miss in the hussle of activity. I prayed and I prayed. As I prayed I walked through the mission grounds laying my hands on the various buildings, praying for the kids and the staff in each of the buildings. (My husband was probably wondering what on earth had happened to me.) I came home with a renewed perspective and the feeling of isolation from life here was gone. I can't choose how God will use me here but I know he will use a heart that is fully surrendered to him. This is His work...I just have the privaledge of witnessing it.

Posted by Picasa

1 comment:

Jenilee said...

I am going through this too. I see so much more that I could do at church but I know God has me as a fulltime homeschooling mom during this season of life. Finding contentment is not always easy but God gently reminds me that I'm doing one of the most important jobs on earth as I raise my girls to love him. be encouraged!