I wanted to update really quick and say that I am feeling a lot more peace about the situation. After talking to the social worker again it actually sounds like a pretty good situation for him, better than a lot of the other things that have been suggested. My heart is slowly catching up to reality. I quickly went and had some pictures of him printed and found a little scrap book album. Last night I put together a little baby book of his two weeks here and his time in the hospital. The theme is what a precious little boy he his and how much he is loved already...even as he moves to a new home. I left lots of empty pages for the next mommy to start filling in (I even bought some extra ones). I think it will be good for him someday to have a record of those early days and to know that he was loved right from the start. I kept it very positive making no reference to foster care, drug addiction etc. I only referred to myself as the one who brought him home from the hospital and his mommy for a short time. I showed him how much the other kids love on him and told him how much I cherished the time he spent with us. Of course I included other things like his id bracelets and NICU cradle card.
I am so not a "scrapbooker" (those woman who can cut on some paper and make it a work of art) but I got across the info that I wanted to and it felt great to do that for him..
well I'd better go get some kids off to school. This little guy was awake most of the night again. Hopefully I will be able to grab a nap at some point. I will miss this guy terribly but I don't think I will miss him from 1am -5am. Gotta run. Thanks for your sweet words of encouragement and prayers...they mean so much.