Memories of Mother's day past

Mothers day can be a wonderful day of being spoiled and receiving recognition for being a mom. Mothers day can also be a difficult day for so many people. It can bring both tears of joy and tears of pain.

There are woman who struggle with infertility. Year after year they witness the celebration of motherhood and long to join in. They sit while other woman are asked to stand in church and are honored for being mothers.

There are woman who are indeed mothers...they have experienced creating and carrying life in their wombs but are without a baby in their arms. They will always be a mom, they have a child they carry in their heart, they have a child waiting for them in heaven....but they will not be recognised this day.

There are moms carrying babies nestled snugly under their ribs. Knowing that they will not be able to parent that child in a way they had longed for....for all to soon a goodbye will come.

There are mothers grieving a recent loss of a child.

There are mothers who are learning to live with a too quiet house....where little feet used to run and little mouths used to chatter.

Mothers day is a day of celebration and honor for all that moms do and for the enormous role that they play.

Mothers day yesterday had me remembering past mothers days...where I was ...what was happening....when I experienced first being a mother.

9 years ago , mothers day, I was a mom hurting. I was large and pregnant. I looked like a mother, I felt like a mother ...but I knew I would not have the joy of mothering. Thre process of nurturing life would be cut short.

8 years ago, mothers day, I was a mom waiting. Joyfully and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my daughter a few months later. I was a mother of two but still "not yet a mother".

7 years ago , mothers day, I was a mom oblivious. I did not yet know I once again carried a life. I also didn't know that a couple months later it would too soon be gone.

6 years ago, mothers day, I was a mom expecting, I carried within my womb my second son. I had only 6 weeks left until I would hold him in my arms and kiss his little face.

3 years ago, mothers day, I was a mom hoping. I woke up early sent up a little prayer and took a pregnancy test. I was so excited to be pregnant again that I woke up the other three members of my family and danced around the house with them.

1 day ago, mothers day, I looked at my little blessings and marveled at God's goodness. I pretended not to see as they made little surprises and gifts for me. I watched them contentedly as they roasted hotdogs and marshmallows in our back yard.

I am so fortunate to have been able to conceive them, carry them and hold them in my arms. I feel a little sad that that part of the journey is now over for me. There will be no more babies to conceive and carry....I can still carry these ones in my arms but they are gradually getting to big for even that. I see how fast the time is flying by and want to somehow harness it and live in this time forever. At the same time I cheer them on to each new milestone and discovery. I swell with pride as they grow and learn and make me proud to be their mom.

I wait with hope that one day the Lord will bring other children into my home, that did not come from my womb...but that need arms to hold them.

I see mothers day future where I will wonder where the time went... where the years went, and will be amazed once again at Gods goodness.

1 comment:

Jobina said...

Sometimes I know I don't take the time to remember how some women must hurt on Mother's Day. I hope God brings you more kids too in whatever form, you have a beautiful Mother's heart and that needs to be shared!
I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day!